I just realized something in this moment, as I was putting R down to sleep after yet another incredibly challenging day, filled with worry and frustration and snafus, that had nothing to do with her, but everything to do with our circumstances, and the State, and just...life. The realization: In this moment, everything is perfect. We are together, and we have everything we need. We are home, and surrounded by love and support near and far. Certainly, there will be more challenges tomorrow, and the next day, and the next... BUT, IN THIS MOMENT, everything is perfect, and we have all that we need. AND, that has been true at every step of the way, no matter what the circumstances, no matter what the challenges, no matter what the worries. Whatever it has been, no matter how great the odds, no matter the challenges, no matter the worries, no matter WHAT, for 19 months plus, in each moment, we have had each other, and somehow, someway, we have had what we have needed, we have had help and support, even when it seemed like everything was going to crash down on us. I need to hold on to this realization. I need to remember. I need to keep stepping forward in faith, while remembering that if I do, we will be OK, and also... to be grateful, and let myself experience the joy and perfection that is present in each moment, no matter what the challenges. without clouding it with worry about tomorrow.
Posted on: Tue, 11 Mar 2014 01:33:17 +0000
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