I left Custer early Monday morning expecting to have a long trip, but a wonderful visit with Carrie Garcia when I arrived in Rochester, NY on Wednesday. We all have friends were willing to suffer a long drive to see, even if its only for a day or two, and she is definitely high on that list. As soon as I could arrange the time off, my bus ticket was purchased and the trip began. I didnt expect that she would go downhill as quickly as she did. I really didnt expect to get there just in time to say goodbye. Carrie passed away Wednesday. Ive known her since I first logged onto Tibia over a decade ago. In game, I was her mom and she was my baby girl. No matter which server we were on, it was the same relationship. Out of game, she was so much more then pixels on a screen. She was my friend, sister, daughter, and so many other things combined. For years, we talked about everything and anything. We shared triumphs and mistakes alike. And Carrie wasnt shy about saying when she thought a mistake was being made. :) But she wasnt quick to judge either. Like Hans Carr, she accepted who I am, mistakes and all, and never asked me to change to fit any preconceived notion she had of how people should be (if she had one). Ill admit over the past year or two, we talked less and less. I think it had to do with me being busy with the munchkins, and her not wanting to worry anyone with her health issues. Amanda Lynn Garcia was the one to go to if I wanted the truth about what was going on. Carrie always said she was fine and felt fine. When her voice didnt sound fine and I called her on it, shed suddenly have to go. That didnt change how much I love and cared about her though. She wasnt perfect, but neither am I. She was just the type of friend everyone needs. When she died, I was in shock. It wasnt suppose to happen that fast. We were suppose to have a couple days to talk and give each other hell before I got back on that horrid bus. Granted, it wouldve been in a hospital, but I could work with that. I had plans of telling her there were easier ways to get me to come and visit...and pictures and pictures to show her of the munchkins. There were antics theyve been up to talk about and everything thats been happening in life lately. I was going to ask her advice on some things...but mostly I wanted a hug. A special hug from a special friend. I wanted to hear that she was going to beat this new onset of medical problems and everything was going to be fine. And I wanted her to know, face to face, whatever I could do to help I was willing. Instead, I was left with her grieving family. Her son and daughters, her sister and brother-in-law, and her granddaughter. At first I felt out of place, like I should leave as soon as possible and not over step the bounds of a visitor in such a situation that obviously calls for family to come together. I didnt want to be hanging out and in the way, or a reminder of the hundreds of other people that were in Carries life as well. I wanted to hop on the first bus I could and grieve in peace. Her family had other plans. They made me feel welcomed. Respected my grief as though it was one of their own. Shared food, stories, laughter, and tears as though I belonged with them. Not once was I ever made to feel an outsider or as though I wasnt completely wanted there. Not once was I made to feel as though I didnt belong. On the trip back home, I had plenty of time to think this over. I realized something important. While Carries body may be gone, her spirit lives on through those she touched and loved. Her sons graciousness in the time of grief. Her oldest daughter apologizing repeatedly that the trip didnt go as planned. Her sister denying me getting on an earlier bus and welcoming me into her home. Her youngest daughter curling up beside me and talking about building a ladder to heaven to see her mommy. Those are mere moments of what was an incredible experience with a family that I (mostly) wouldnt have met had I not gone to see Carrie. The generosity of spirit, the warm and open hearts, the sharing of what was there... that was 100% pure Carrie living on in others actions. So Carrie, where ever you are, whoever youre watching over tonight, I love you. I miss you. You touched a great many hearts, and changed a great many lives. And your spirit continues on in the legacy you left behind with your children and family. Special hugs to you Baby Girl.... in...5 ... 3 ... 1 ...
Posted on: Sun, 20 Jul 2014 04:31:18 +0000
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