I love this quote. It is like a constant angst or tension I have experienced my entire life with what I have wanted, dreamed of, realistically thought I could attain against what I am physically capable of and, of course, my pain tolerance. And it is this tension that leads to depression when I exceed my pain tolerance in order to do what I either want or think I should be doing. Not necessary an enduring depression. At times just melancholy for what cannot be. I have always been happiest when I have found a balance between my desires and my bodies limitations... but, unfortunately, that is harder to find with other obligations added into the mix. Then I demand my body do as it should, that I endure the pain because I must... and I think somehow this will have no consequences. It does have consequences. Less sleep. More illness. More stress. Less mood regulation. Sleep deprivation and migraines lead to short but deep depressive bouts in me due to the migraines themselves, pain level and lack of sleep. Yet... I fulfill my obligations. I am perceived as a functional member of society. I am worthy to exist. If only I could find that balance that makes the chronically ill worthy in the eyes of society that doesnt have such a price tag on it. Whenever we do find that balance... with flexwork, sharework, workplace accommodation, work from home options I think it is possible to achieve this balance. We are always forced to confront our limitations, like a damned wall, but we should never have to bash against it repeatedly.
Posted on: Sun, 10 Nov 2013 00:47:59 +0000
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