I need to get out of this hell. There is nothing left of my once would do anything to keep the 3 of us together. Now she is nothing but an indifferent selfish thoughtless beast. My grandparents came down from Maine and my Uncle invited me through my mother and she didnt tell me anything but she couldnt come pick me up... I talked to my uncle about it where I found out about it. After the fact I left Portland... I was the last one to find out my mother got married and eloped. She told everyone but her own son. Why is it okay to use that is how she was raised? That is not okay at all! I know I was always the black sheep and always will be. Does that mean I should feel unloved and like nothing in her presence? I have never really felt very comfortable and looked down upon all my life by the one person that is supposed to love you unconditionally no matter what. My drunk father was raised in a very abusive household but he NEVER hit nor did he ever raise a hand out of anger to me. He broke the cycle he was born into. Its too bad emotional pain cuts much deeper than ANY physical wound anyone anywhere could inflict. I cant stop crying. I was locked out of the house till her and her husband came back from drinking and being Merry hanging out with the family I never have felt apart of! I dont know what to do... I want to yell scream and break shit, but I know that isnt going to help the situation. I pray I never treated anyone with such blatant disregard of how anyone ever felt. If I ever did I deeply apologize.
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 06:32:34 +0000