I remember a night.. Four years ago, sitting on my knees in a bathroom floor on the same level as my seven month old daughter asking her the question why can you not be enough to make me stop using? I didnt understand why I couldnt stop. Why the LOVE of everyone around me was not enough to make me stop. Why every time that I used I continuously asked God why could that not have been the one that killed me? Will I ever make it to the day when I didnt hate to see the sun rising? Will I ever break the endless cycle of getting, using, and finding ways and means to get more? The life of a drug addict who is actively using is no easy one. Its the most physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually deteriorating life that I have ever experienced. The desperation in the eyes of countless people I see on a daily basis lets me know that it does not change. For them, their families, their children, the community, and society as a whole. The gift of recovery is not for the faint at heart. You see all I had to change was everything. Everything I had believed, and everything I had ever known. Even with over three years clean, I still believe that most of my thinking is subject to revision. I am grateful for articles such as this that shed some informative light as to the nature of the disease of addiction. Hate the disease, not the addict. Im a grateful recovering addict named Jami. Thanks for letting me share.
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 03:35:04 +0000
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