I remember asking (begging) three times for a Carers Assessment to be done; I was refused each time. Eventually Social Services did assess me and Sam, and afterwards I found out that they cannot legally refuse you. Same with CAMHS, they refused to help each time; finally, after further family traumas, they relented. All the help is hidden and you have to travail these difficult guidelines to garner it. Each services views are rigid; they seem unable to deal with things holistically - to see the whole person they are dealing with, and to take into account how helping one area might conflict with another area that needs understanding and support. Eventually you, as a parent (usually when your child has become a teenager) become your own kind of expert; one that can and does fill the gaps that the services just wont provide for, but you regret the years it took you to learn; you regret the impact that your own naivete may have had on your child. You take all the responsibility, and you punish yourself for what you didnt achieve, because at the end of the day no one else will. No one else lives it and breathes it; no one else feels every bit of pain their child goes through, and sits up night after night watching to make sure that theyre still breathing. And they wonder how people get pushed to the edge?! If I werent so knackered with my enormous caring responsibilities Id do something about this. I wont judge and condemn this woman for her actions; its deplorable that the support just isnt there for Carers and the people that they care for. Its even more appalling that when someone is undergoing a mental health crisis they are stigmatised and still left with their overwhelming responsibilities. No, Im not judging; that poor, poor family have been through quite enough.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Nov 2014 15:51:16 +0000
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