I spent all of my teenage years studying to be a De La Salle brother. This was a Christian teaching order which became my home for most of my young life. I used to go home to my family during the Christmas holidays and the summer months only to return for further training on entering the De La Salle Order of Brothers. My intention was to teach in Africa and to empower the African children about the power of love. As all through my earlier years, there were promptings coming from my heart to learn to love unconditionally. At that time in my life, these desires became ego driven. The reason it took on the false self of the ego was because I felt separate from God. All the lessons and talk was about love. Every Sunday I used to get God to respond to my pleas, but I could not feel the love that was preached from the pulpits. So I decided to make my focus and attention to discover what this love was all about. During my first year of training in De La Salle Brothers, I remember winning a writing competition for an essay I did about the “Life of the Founder of De La Salle Brother”. My prize was the book “Brother Solomon“. Brother Solomon died in martyrdom Such an inspiring book about love. Which showed him living up to his inner promptings. This book started me down the road in searching for unconditional love. At that time, I had not realized that my soul was infinite love. I was always trying to get more love. I was always keen to please everybody as I knew from experienced that I could captured love by doing that but there was always a deep longing inside of me that never seemed to be fulfilled. I used to ask a lot of questions which none of the Brothers could answer. My questions constantly annoyed and baffled them. So they never were able to satisfy my deep searching questions. Until one day I met an older brother who was retired and he used to spend a lot of time in the graveyard at the back of the monastery. He pointed out to me that the graveyard was full of spirits. He used to talk to them daily. Everyday after training and my manual labour, I used to visit him and spent many along couple of hours discussing the nature of the soul and the spirit. I made it my intention to prise out of him, his experienced with spirits. Remembering back those days used to reinforced for me that there was a presence around all life and that we are not alone. After many years now have passed, I realized he was one of my teachers who opened my searching mind to the possibility of the soul. After being persuaded to leave the order , my path took a different turn. My search became to find my twin flame. So I searched outside of myself looking at every relationship that came my way. The question I had was, will I meet my twin flame today. This searched was ego driven. As some part of me felt incomplete. There was a burning impulse within me to discover my twin flame. The ego created in me the need to have and posses my twin flame, as once I had accomplished this I would be forever happy. My early twenties brought many young girls to my attention. But I was always sabotaging these early relationships. My mind got me to focused on what was wrong and to try and fix it. So all my relationships ended leaving me none the wiser about who my twin flame was. One night while doing a meditation I decided to ask the question of my higher self “who was my twin flame” So this became my focus of attention..
Posted on: Tue, 03 Dec 2013 18:22:50 +0000
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