I think some person’s self-defence is like a war zone or a fortress. They defend themselves by such stuffs which made them inaccessible. These thing are deep moat, barbed wire fence, minefield, machine gun nest and if you can pass through them probably you should fight with bloodhounds or demons, monsters, beasts if you want to go doorstep of their house of soul. They don’t like if someone want to see or know what lies behind the curtains. They are like an dormant lion or dragon. Their reaction is violent if someone would like to get to know them (not superficially but substantially). But self-defence can be different (like yours). They dont need to have any violent protection device. Their self-defence is an empty, huge and silent place. Like a mirror hall at the amusement park without mirrors. Magnetic ‘winds’ are blowing on this field and you can see their shelter in the distance (for example a giant, titanic-sized wall). Mostly you look like you are milling around in one place and cannot go ahead or you are just moving away from their shelter. Your movement capability is depend on attraction and repulsion of their magnetic ‘winds’. If they don’t want to ‘attract’-draw you to themselves you never start to climb their shelter because they begin to close and hide themselves when you start to get to know them against their will. They are the real inaccessible persons. But the giant shelters cannot be perfect defence because there are many rifts and holes on them where you can see some elements from their true nature, past, soul and “light and darkness’. And don’t mention the mixed “variety”. Almost a year ago -lacking a day- I wrote a line of thought and it is very difficult to live by this thought and now more truthful than a year ago. What did I write? It cannot be to force an other person’s love, attention, kindness, friendship, intimacy, care, respect toward us if other person doesn’t want or ignores, forgets them by her/his decision or changes, denies them compared to previous ones even if it hurts our emotions or if we try to do what we miss from her/him and we won’t get back reply. Sometimes to show these mass of feelings to an other person is harder (especially if she or he makes a wall around her or him) than opposites: anger, hate, grudge, contempt, offence – we let us these negative attitudes more easily and we fall a prey them more undetected. Fighting with latter needs steady alertness and power while the criteria of the formers is partly acceptance, ability to accept. And hard to decide which is harder from among two…
Posted on: Sun, 17 Nov 2013 15:06:15 +0000
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