I was born on this day 19 years ago. My mother knew she was pregnant, but not with twins. She carried my brother and I for three long months. After experiencing months of pain, an ultrasound revealed that she was carrying twins. However, my twin was stuck in the Fallopian tube, and my mother was forced into immediate surgery. In order for me to survive, the doctors had to perform an ectopic pregnancy: a life-threatening procedure to the mother in which the baby stuck in the tube cannot survive. The risks were very high, especially because my mother had faced complications in the past and in addition, throughout this pregnancy, she was forced to take a lot of medication. Fortunately, the ectopic pregnancy was successful, but now it was a matter of ensuring that I would be born a healthy baby boy. Studies suggest that when one twin dies, the survivor is more likely to suffer serious adverse outcomes, such as cerebral palsy, gut atresia, and learning disability. For the following months, I remained alone in my mothers womb. What had happened in those three months? Despite my brother being stuck in the Fallopian tube and not with me in the womb, I cant help but imagine the consequence of lying inches apart from another human being in an enclosed space - not for 3 hours or 3 days, but for over three months. At three months, a baby is only the weight of a banana and the size of two thumbs. Yet, the brain continues to grow new cells and make connections between those already in place. The fetus develops physical reflexes. The eyes are in place, and eyelids are beginning to form. The fetus cannot control its movements, but it can react to stimuli by moving its arms and kicking. Something had to have happened in those three months. We developed together, despite being in two separate places in my mothers body. This type of condition is known as a heterotopic pregnancy - a rare complication in which both extra-uterine (ectopic pregnancy) and intrauterine pregnancy occur simultaneously. It occurs in only 1 out of every 10,000 patients. The prognosis for the extrauterine fetus (my brother) was very poor, having an estimated 90‑95% mortality rate. The mortality rate for the intrauterine pregnancy (me) in such a case is approximately 35%. After 9 months of intensive preparation, my mothers C-section date was set. I was born on July 9th, 1995 - a seven pound, 21-inch healthy baby boy. It amazes me. Knowing that I could have a brother for all these years that Ive lived has carried some heavy emotions. Without a doubt, everything could have been different. Yet, as much guilt and sorrow as I feel, I also feel an overwhelming gratitude. Im humbled by my mothers strength to have gone through such a difficult and risky pregnancy to give birth to me. Im humbled by the thought that I am the only fortunate human being in this entire universe to have witnessed my brothers identity. Im humbled by the idea that he, just like me and all of us today, would have developed his own unique set of dreams and desires. Im humbled by recognizing the force that controls this reality -- whether a person believes in God or not -- that force, that power exists, and it is beyond anything that we could ever conceive. Im humbled by the fact that I exist today, breathing the beautiful air of this Earth - living a life that others dont even get a glimpse of, a reality my brother could not witness. My parents have always called it a miracle, but as Ive grown older Ive realized everything happens for a reason and a purpose. Its just the way this world works, the way God works. And for that reason, Im incessantly grateful to be alive. Though science proves otherwise - for me, my brother is alive - in humor (my parents have always called him Badil), and in faith. Hes been with me ever since I have been here, because I think about him almost every day I live. I think of what he would have done to make my parents proud. And I know of my responsibility and obligation to make them proud just as much as I know he would. Its a weird feeling, but its what has made me the 19 year old man I am today, and who I will become.
Posted on: Thu, 10 Jul 2014 01:27:21 +0000
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