I was reminded of this today by a friend who is feeling the pain of it now, and thought Id repost it. Please excuse brevity (lol) and errors, as I was crying as I wrote it. When we bought our house, 12 years ago, the people we bought it from had a German Shepherd. He was four years old. They knew that we had no dogs and in fact recently had to say goodbye to our dog of 18 years. The shepherd was rather large for his breed, skinny, and mangy looking. He was very high strung and skittish and he scared me a little. The home sellers informed us that if we did not want the dog they were going to have it put down because they were moving to a home where there was no yard for a dog. We live on 3 acres surrounded by about 500 acres of woods. Now you know I was NOT about to let that happen!! Of course we said yes that we would keep the dog. The night we moved into our house the previous owners were in the driveway all packed and ready to go. They informed us of all the quirks with this dog and got into their vehicles and pulled away with the dog watching and never so much as looked at him much less touched him or tried to soothe him or say goodbye. That broke my heart. Especially since when they asked us to take him they acted like it was breaking their hearts. When we got into the house there was a large cage on the porch with a dirty blanket in it which was covered in feces. All of the wood on the sun porch had been clawed and chewed. Mostly, around the windows and door as if he had been trying to get out. Sadder still. the other side of the basement door was the same way. This poor dog, living on 500 acres of woods, had spent his time locked away. This worried me. I wondered why and hoped it wasnt because he was mean or hard to keep on the property or was just not trainable....for anything. We took him to vet immediately to find out why he was so skinny. He had heart worm. It was going to be over a grand to save his life. The vet said that he had full grown worms all in his heart and he couldnt promise that the treatment would help since he had the heart worm for so long. We had the treatment done. Its such an invasive, incredibly painful experience for the dog. They do a spinal tap and the tube stays hooked up for a week. Its said to be one of the most invasive, painful treatments an animal has to endure. It broke our hearts to see the kind of pain he felt for nearly a month after the treatment. He survived the treatment but it made him gravely ill. He developed mange and other problems because as you can imagine arsenic ravages the bodys immune system while killing the heart worm. He was treated for the mange which had caused loss of hair and large red painful lesions all over his body. Little by little he began to heal. Meanwhile we got rid of the cage on the porch. Still not sure why they had been caging him and locking him in the basement I made him sleep on the sun porch the first night. Not in a cage but on a big soft clean rug. Next morning I was amazed that he didnt have an accident on the porch and was very proud of him for that. He got lots of loving and I let him out first thing, to do his business. This worried me because I wasnt sure if he would run off or not.. He didnt. It was an amazing thing to watch what this dog did. He walked the perimeter of the property...every single inch of it, did what he had to do and came right back to me......holding a football in his mouth! He was obsessed with playing with his football and brought it back EVERY time! He was wonderfully playful and wasnt the least bit interested in our four cats. That had been a big concern of mine. Over the course of the next few months, we got to know each other a little better and as I lived with him and learned about him, I fell completely in love with him. He had problems but I knew that the problems were because of how he had been treated for the first four years of his life. He got stronger and healthier as the days went by. He was so beautiful, sweet and so damned desperate to please us and he did. I just knew that he had never left the property and I wanted desperately to take him to the beach with his football. I was sure that he would love it. What dog wouldnt? We were getting ready to go and the last thing we had to do was get him in the truck. I grabbed a leash and headed toward him. He ran. He went into the woods and stayed for several hours. He would not come back. I had no idea why,but we abandoned the beach idea and waited for him to come back. He must have been in the woods watching us because as soon as it was apparent that we werent going anywhere he came back. I figured he was just skittish about taking rides in the truck since the last ride was for his heart worm treatment. I still wanted him to see how wonderful it would be to be able to run on the beach so next day we tried it again. Only this time I didnt let him see the leash. I snuck up on him and had the leash hooked into his collar before he knew what was happening. I led him to the truck and he jumped in on his own. He was nervous but he got in on his own. It wasnt the vehicle he was scared of, it was the leash. We would later learn from a neighbor that The leash was what he was beat with. On the drive to the beach he paced nervously in the truck unaware that I had his football. When we got there we parked, let Justice out, grabbed his football and headed toward the water. I threw his ball as far as I could and he chased it wild with excitement. He ran like crazy wildly trying to anticipate where the ball was going. It was beautiful to see him that happy. It made me cry. He chased the ball down, grabbed it in his huge jaws and ran like there was no tomorrow. Making a bee line for me, running like the wind with me cheering, What a good boy! He ran past me and I was sure he was taking the ball to David. No. He ran past David and kept running. JUSTICE! I yelled, but he wasnt listening. He kept running down the beach with us screaming his name, him not listening. He ran down the beach and over the hill by the road. We couldnt see him anymore and were running to catch up. Tourist season, the road was always very busy and I was sure he would get hit by a car. I couldnt imagine where he thought he was going. On the Peninsula there are large places just off the road to park your vehicle and we were parked right about where we saw him go over the hill. We finally got to the parking lot to find Justice sitting directly behind the truck, football in mouth. He was ready to go! We left. We never made him leave the property again. I couldnt imagine, why this dog was ever penned or locked in the basement or beaten. For the next nine years he was an inside dog laying at our feet in front of the fire in the winter time. In the spring, summer and fall, he spent his days playing football, getting loved on, talked to, rewarded, surprised with toys...treats. The mailman loved him. The fuel guy that delivers fuel all winter long, loved him. Everyone who ever met him, loved him. Not one time did that dog step one foot in the road. Not one time did he leave his property unless I was with him. Not one time did he have an accident in the house. He was so protective and loyal. He had a spot in the yard that he would lay all day long. From there he could see almost the entire property and he would listen for any breach that may come from behind him. He would get up every two hours and do a complete perimeter check. He would lay in his favorite spot all day long keeping vigil while David was at work. Except for his perimeter checks, he never left his spot unless someone stepped foot on the property. If one wheel of a vehicle so much as made the slight turn toward the driveway he went commando dog. He was up and in an instant blocking the vehicle from entering. Standing steely faced, staring into the eyes of the driver. No one without exception, was willing to test him. He was steadfastly loyal and made it abundantly clear that he was ready to die for us. If I, we, Justice and I, felt it was safe, we would allow the car to come up the drive and Justice, with lightening speed was at my side. Not one person no matter how much I trusted them, got between he and I. He stood opposing, proud and ready to die for me. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. I couldnt imagine a life without him. He loved his home. He loved his family. And, when I saw him out there doing a perimeter check, or baking in the sun in his favorite spot, I knew he loved his life. I started to notice one day when he was in the house,and needed to get out, it was as if it was urgent. He had an accident in the house and I was sure that it was something we gave him eat. He never got anything but dry food before we got him but,he was a bag of bones at first and I do admit to spoiling him. After a couple of more accidents in the house I noticed that something was wrong. There was blood in his stool and it was diarrhea. We took him to the vet and they told us that when he had the heart worm treatment it destroyed his pancreas. His food and any nourishment that he would normally get, was going right through his body. They gave us some medication for him and told us to give him small amounts of dry dog food with maybe scrambled eggs and rice and add the medication to the food to make sure he gets it all. The medication tasted so horrible that he couldnt and wouldnt eat it. He became increasingly more frail as he rapidly lost weight and his hind legs were beginning to fail him. Still, in pain and because we would not have stopped him if we could have, he did his perimeter checks and stood vigil from his post. It was just harder to get up and down. But he did it. Nothing could stop him. I finally decided that the vet wasnt helping. What little medication we could get into him, wasnt working, and it was breaking our hearts hearts to see our king...like that. He was having diarrhea frequently. He couldnt control it. I had long since, had to make shim sleep on the porch, which is heated, and has linoleum tile flooring. I couldnt, wouldnt, leave him out alone at night. Not after all he had done for us. I gladly cleaned up the messes. It was a small price to pay for the gift that he was. It was everywhere, outside. All over the driveway, in the flower beds, grass....just everywhere. We tried to keep up with it, spraying it down constantly. We felt so bad for him, and there was nothing we could do. We were in the herb store, picking up a few things, and while in line, I was telling the lady who owns the store, about Justice. She recommended digestive enzymes. She gave me a bottle of capsules, and told me to empty the capsule on the food. Best thing?? TASTELESS!! I made Justice his food, sprinkling the enzymes on it, and gave it to him. He ate every single bite! Best part?? He still had an accident on the porch, but it was solid!!!!! Im telling you, we were so happy to see, that we cried! Over the course of the next year, he gained all of his weight back, in fact the vet chewed us out because he was overweight! It wasnt good for his hips, so he was put on a diet. It ended up being a good thing for his joints. Nothing lasts forever, and he lost the weight he had gained. The food enzymes only worked for awhile, and the arthritis is his hip got even worse. The pain medication, for the arthritis, made him sick, and he couldnt hold anything down. He was back to having diarrhea, and losing weight rapidly. He was still making the perimeter check and spending the rest of the day, in his favorite spot. Mostly sleeping, but I think sometimes, it hut too much to get up anymore. Every one told us...its time....put him down....hes not enjoying it anymore, but, when I saw him standing post, which had become increasingly harder to do since the heart worm treatment also made his eyesight rapidly deteriorate. He wasnt ready. I knew he wasnt. Dave knew he wasnt. And most importantly, Justice knew he wasnt ready. In the days that followed, we just let Justice, be Justice. To me, there had been no loss of dignity like others were saying. To me, he was the strong beautiful king that he had always been. It was a routine now, to let him out in the morning, clean up the mess, and watch him bask in the sun, standing post, getting up less often for the perimeter checks but doing them right through the pain. By this time. he would manage to just hop his front feet, over the door step into the house, as I had to get him in and out of the slider, to avoid the steps off the sun porch. He would then swing his hind legs over and wobble across the yard to start his perimeter check. He got halfway across the yard, turned and looked at me, and laid down. Not in his favorite spot, but where he couldnt make it any farther. I walked over to him, and knelt down beside him, and started to stroke him. Though it was a beautiful, warm late spring morning, he was shaking. I started to talk to him. I told him that he was such a good boy, and that it was okay if he didnt wand to do his check. He immediately calmed down, and allowed me to stroke him and talk to him. I told him that I would watch now. He rallied, and made it to the edge of the woods, where he usually started his check, did his business, and managed to make it to his favorite spot where he laid until David got home from work. We got him in through the slider, he had a nice dinner, and went out to the porch, for the night. The next morning, David had left for work, and when I got up, I immediately went to the porch, to get Justice up and out. He was laying on the floor, looking at me through the glass on the french doors between he and I. He was never laying down. He could hear my feet the second they hit the floor, and there was only one time, that I could ever remember that he wasnt standing at the door looking at me, wild with excitement, and that was one holiday weekend when I had my family stay and he played so hard one day, I had to wake HIM up! :) This time, he was laying down. I knew it was bad, because he didnt stand up, even when I opened the door. I talked to him. You okay, Bud? His tail wagged wildly, and when I reached for him, he laid his head down and winced. I asked him if he wanted to go out, and he tried to stand, and fell back down wincing. His back legs, wouldnt lift him, one more time. I went in the house and grabbed a belt, from my robe, and wrapped it around under his tummy, and attempted to lift his hind quarters, and when I did, he got up, and we made our way, through the house, to the slider. I walked him out to the end of the sidewalk, carrying his hind legs in a sling behind him, as he used his front legs and he used the bathroom just off the sidewalk. He turned to look at me, and then started walking toward his favorite spot in the yard. The spot where he fiercely, relentlessly, proudly, protected us from, the spot from where he let the world know that he had the most important job in the world and he was ready to die, to do it. I released the sling, and he laid down. As proud as he had ever been. As strong and majestic as he had ever been. Doing the job, that he was put here to do. I went in the house, but I watched him through the window. I swear you could see the pride as he stood post. There was a storm approaching, and I let him lay there as long as I could, before the rain started, and I went out, with the belt from my robe again, to get him. I made the sling and attempted to lift him, but this time, his front legs wouldnt work. I wasnt strong enough to lift him, and he didnt have the strength to help. He laid back in exhaustion. By this time, it was pouring down rain. It was raining so hard, that I couldnt see the road. I couldnt get him in, and I didnt want to leave him in the rain. I ran into the house and called Dave, letting him know everything that was happening, sobbing, wanting him to tell me, that this wasnt the time. He was home in record time, and ran immediately to Justice and got down on the ground with us. We talked to him, stroking him. The rain had stopped, but he was wet. He had this spirit about him, that I fell in love with the first time I met him. Even though I was a little afraid of him, he had a wonderful, happy, sweet spirit about him. That day, laying in the spot that he loved so much, getting ready to say goodbye, he had more spirit, and pride than Id ever seen in him. He could only respond with his eyes, but it was there. He was saying I love you guys so much. He was saying thank you guys so much for loving me and caring for me.....he was saying Ill never stop watching you, protecting you, loving you. It was all there, in his eyes. What would happen, when the vet pulled into the driveway, blew us all away, made us ALL cry, and was a profound testament, to this dogs love, and spirit. Justice jumped up! The vet only parked at the bottom of the drive. He walked halfway up the drive, when Justice jumped up, putting himself between myself and the vet. As soon as the vet got near to me and David, Justice seemed to know, that he meant no one any harm. Justice tried to make it back to his spot, but fell just short, and couldnt make it up again. The first shot, was to make Justice relaxed, and eventually sleepy. While we waited the painfully little time it took for that to work, we said our final goodbyes, to the smartest, most loving, loyal, protective, happy......influences on our lives, that Im sure well ever have. The next shot, would end his life, and suffering. We had him cremated, and we planted a tree, in his spot, and sprinkled his ashes at the base of it. Its a beautiful dogwood tree, that in its first year, grew over two feet! We call it the Tree of Justice, and its my favorite thing.
Posted on: Mon, 22 Sep 2014 14:26:25 +0000