I was swimming with my school in the middle of the Pacific when I saw something bright glistening in the sun. I simply had to check it out. As I got closer I couldnt believe my eyes. It was a big fat worm just lying there waiting for me. I opened my mouth, shut my eyes, and prepared for the rich, juicy, meaty flavor to hit my palette. Phew, yuck, plastic. I wanted to spit it out, but then I felt a sharp pain. Only then I saw the almost invisible line that must have been connected to the worm. What worm? A piece of plastic with a hook. After years of swimming free, I was finally fished. Well, not me. No chance. Not today. Hopefully not ever. This is what really happened. I went to pick up the mail on a rainy Seattle afternoon. I wasnt expecting anything. Most certainly I wasnt expecting a personal letter from Chris Thomas. And I dont know anyone in El Segundo California. I was getting excited. It was addressed to me personally. In calligraphy no less. Wow. I had many different scenarios going through my mind. All very exciting. But nothing could have prepared me for what was in the envelope. Absolutely nothing. I opened the letter and I must admit I was slightly disappointed. It was from DirectTV. In the letter, they made me feel special. As if I was chosen, no, handpicked, out of millions of potential candidates to qualify for their special (I could say unique to avoid repetitions, but I really felt special) promotion. The letter warned me, multiple times that this is not for existing customers. Just for me. There were other warnings, in very small print, but I was too anxious. I picked up the phone and called. I didn’t want to waste any time. I wanted to find out how special I was. The second salesperson was actually able to pronounce my name in a coherent way. The first one tried to the point that I had to tell him: “look, my first name consists of six letters, A, M, I R, A, M. How hard can that be?” She was ready to take my order, but I wanted to hear more. I wanted to hear the proposition in its entirety before committing to a multi-year relationship with penalties for withdrawals. Yes, that was another warning, there would be a penalty for every month, if you try to escape the hook, sorry, the bundle. And then came the next warning. The “special promotion” is only good for one year, then they “upgrade” you to the regular full price, which is not as attractive as the “special promotion”. So I asked, again and again, to finally realize that the promotion included cable service only. Without the actual hardware and no internet service, and no land line. When we went through the proposal, I realized it was better, but not by much, than my current provider. Comcast, while very expensive, actually delivers a very good service. I figured why should I switch one fisherman for another? I was already fished by Comcast. My current fisherman is OK. DirecTV, I’m not biting. And while your line is pretty invisible, and the hook is well hidden within the plastic worm, I think Im good for now.
Posted on: Sun, 07 Dec 2014 06:22:59 +0000
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