Id forgotten some important meds in Bristol, so I needed to come home last night. I never seem to sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time, so Im wide awake and thinking about Papaw. Reflecting on what a good day yesterday was, really, in the grand scheme of recent days. The positives: 1. He joked around with me, even going so far as pretending to be choked on water and giving a great big grin when I started patting his back panic-stricken; 2. He was cantankerous, retorting, Well, piss on ya, when I tried explaining that Leon and I couldnt help him out of bed and to the nearest bath (which he even politely SPELLED for me in case I doubted what he wanted/needed -- B-A-T-H!); 3. He laughed when Aunt Irene called to check on him and relayed a story to me that I then told to him about him and Uncle John wrecking Grandpa Littles truck up on Hubble Hill many moons ago, like that was some big fun and I was reminded by both him and Aunt Irene of how incredibly blessed I am to know such stories (Lord knows they abound about these Little men and their passion for cars and women); 4. I asked if he remembered the picture I showed him of Uncle Bill and Aunt Barbs surprise 80th biryhday party (thanks again, Shelly Mareno), and he didnt, but wanted me to show him again, and wanted someone to call Uncle Bill, to tell him to come pick him up and take him on vacation because hes ready to go -- so I did (he couldnt hear well enough to talk to Bill on the phone, but being the mediator in that conversation meant more to me than my mere words could ever convey); 5. Continuing our joking, I asked him if he could make it without me last night, to which he answered with the question, Can you make it without me? I stopped and looked into his eyes. He wasnt kidding. This was a serious moment all of a sudden. I rephrased the question, asking if he would need me. He said of course hed need me, but that someone else does, too, so I should go be with him last night. I smiled and squeezed his hand, determined not to cry. I believe that was his way of saying that I have other tasks to tend to when hes gone and to let me know -- in the way that only Papaw can/would -- where he thinks my priorities need to be. And here I was, wondering who would teach me what I needed to know when he was gone... Hes my Papaw; I should have known better! Hes already taught me what I need to know for an entire lifetime or longer! After he isnt physically here to speak the instructions to me any longer, the memories will point me in the necessary directions!
Posted on: Thu, 03 Apr 2014 09:14:53 +0000
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