Id like to take a moment and give my personal thanks to Mr. President Barack Obama, and Mr. Vice President Joe Biden, because they have both taken time out of their own life in order to address my personal situation. You two have done a fantastic job of such, and I do sincerely appreciate it because we as individuals have nothing more precious than time. It is our greatest resource and our most easily squandered currency. As such is the case, Im calling an international summit to take place in Kyoto in September to honor the city that was spared, and in Tehran on November 5th to honor both Guy Fawkes and the nation which has been made out to be the organization known as COBRA from the GI Joe cartoon series. Its a time for great and sweeping changes in the world. Our entire planet is in crisis and I have a solution. On the one hand, as a sovereign individual who has made a pledge to uphold the United States Constitution as a contract for both myself and everyone else on the planet, I must show restraint; this summit is an exercise in restraint and an exercise in my authority as a United States natural-born civilian in the manner of commandeering United States Navy transport when extraordinary circumstances are called for. On the other hand, as a sovereign individual who has made a pledge to uphold the United States Constitution as a contract for both myself and everyone else on the planet, I must show ferocity and tenacity in being a defender of liberty. Liberty is not freedom; liberty knows no shackles beyond the boundary of what intentionally harms and damages the person and property of others, and liberty entails making reparations when harm or damage is caused by human error to the person and property of others. I expect for every nation on the planet to be represented at this summit. I expect every nation on the planet to coffer up their highest military personnel, their highest domestic police personnel, a representative of their legislature(s), the attendance of the ten wealthiest citizens and their families, and the attendance of the twenty most impoverished citizens and their families. Mademoiselle Oprah and Will Smith are hereby charged with the hospitality provided to the impoverished, because by virtue of their characters in the real world, they will be most gracious and considerate hosts, and they will undoubtedly by the goodness of their hearts weep knowing that they are being given the honor of providing a vacation to many people who would never even have so lofty a dream - and all because of their work as artists. I request that Banksy not attend the summits. Stencil and spray paint is the greatest source of suffering on the planet as a whole. It is my deepest desire that you spend the time the summit will be held with the Lakota, if they will have you, so that you may learn to fletch your own bow and arrow, take down your own buck, and brain-tan the hide. For you, there is nothing more important left in your life aside from this endeavor, Banksy. The topic of this summit will be Noblesse Oblige and how it applies to our modern, decadent, and brutally barbaric modern age. There is no greater problem than religious divides within the same religion. There is no greater problem than capitalism for the sake of pure profit, simply to make gains to mark progress. There is no greater problem than acknowledging hundreds of thousands of people as your kin by paternal half-brother lineage and then threatening them and therefore yourself with genocide. There is no bigger problem than needing, actually needing, entertainment in order to distract you from your own life. There is no greater problem than entertainers who are not artists leaving actual artists who are making statements of the human condition to starve. While it is true that my own mother would see me sleep in a ditch, feel guilty but no remorse and do little more to help me other than complain about how terrible her life was, that her daddy didnt buy her a pony so her mommy had to, what I see when I open my eye to Huginn and Muninn is appalling. By record in the United States of America, I am called Erik Joseph McBride. To myself, I am Lord Erik Tristan Blackthorn, Fed by Ravens, Priest of Tao. My self-titling of Lord is not intended to be a patent of nobility or assert some dominion over others. It is an acknowledgement that when it is all ended as it will end, I will in turn be devoured and my flesh will be deemed succulent by my brother worms and fowl and plants who do me the honor of devouring me. President Obama, I have two requests: Please have one of your people contact me to arrange transport and begin setting up the location required in Kyoto for the summit. I would prefer to travel by Concorde if possible because, well, Concordes are just really cool planes. My second request is to wash Lady Liberty. It isnt that hard to clean her off and treat her with poly so she stays gleaming like shes supposed to be gleaming. And a final request: I need CSA dress greys from anyone willing to tailor them. If not, Ill wear my grey Tao robes I made myself. Actually, those will do nicely with a little modification. And a final demand: This happens to be the United States National Anthem, you know - https://youtube/watch?v=Iza1wMzJN_I
Posted on: Thu, 26 Jun 2014 18:44:08 +0000
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