If God wanted women to have the remote, hed have given them bigger - TopicsExpress

If God wanted women to have the remote, hed have given them bigger thumbs and smaller brains // The medical student was shocked when he received a failing grade in radiology. Approaching the professor, he demanded to know the reason for the grade. You know the self X-ray you took? asked the professor. I do. said the student. A fine picture, the professor said, of your lungs, stomach, and liver. If its a fine picture, then why did you give me an F? asked the student I had no choice, said the professor. You didnt put your heart in it. // A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup. The nurse starts with certain basic items. How much do you weigh? she asks. One-seventy. The nurse puts him on the scale. It turns out that his weight is 183. The nurse asks, Your height? Five-eleven. The nurse checks and sees that hes only 5 8 1/2. She then takes his blood pressure, and its very high. The man explains, Of course its high. When I came in here, I was tall and wiry. Now, Im short and dumpy.... // It was visitors day at the lunatic asylum. All the inmates were standing in the courtyard and singing Ave Maria. And singing it beautifully. Oddly,each of them was holding a red apple in one hand and tapping it rhythmically with a pencil. A visitor listened in wonderment to the performance and then approached the conductor. I am a retired choir director, he said. This is one of the best choirs I have ever heard. Yes, Im very proud of them, said the conductor. You should take them on tour, said the visitor, what are they called? In the beginning this was a big problem. One inmate wanted to call them the Big Apple with Little Brown Seeds Singing Sons of Siam, but I said it was too long and, anyway, no one was from Siam. Then, another thought The Pencil Leads was a good name but the others disagreed because they had no one to write to. Well, the visitor asked, What name did they finally agree on? Surely thats obvious, replied the conductor. They all agreed to call themselves ... //

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