If you ever had a love one with cancer then you know how I feel right now! Helpless!! If you ever been told that loved one was dying and they could not stop it. You know how I feel! broken. My mind can not think past today right now! I have said to myself one more day. One day at a time. But if I had to choose my bubbie here in pain or letting him go home. Will I be selfish and pray to keep him here? How strong do you have to be to really pray Gods will for the love of your life? To really ask God to do what HE WANTS for our life! I pray for healing every second of the day. But end my prayer with you will be done Lord and as I say it my heart breaks! My bubbie is down over 80 lbs now. The dr yesterday said he is doing as expected. I wanted to scream at him!! SAVE HIM OR SHUT UP!! I did not want to hear that! I wanted him to tell me that there was no more cancer. Something! Last night my bubbie told me he feels weak. I asked him to explain? He looked at my with them beautiful blue eyes and said!! I am going to beat this!! He smiled at me told me he loved me and we prayed!! There is nothing more I can do but love him with all my heart!! Gods will for our life is all I pray. The bible say you tell God the desires of your heart! I want to grow old with my bubbie. We have plans! Stuff we want to do together! There is never enough time to live the life we want to live!! Something is always in your way, job, no money, kids! Stuff!! You never plan on life ending illness changing your life!! God is not done with us yet!! The story is not over till God writes the last word! I am thankful I know how to pray and reach God. Getting to that peaceful place saves me daily!! Many more tears will fall. I know this! There is a pain that hurts so bad but cant kill you. I give that pain to God. My heart.
Posted on: Fri, 24 Oct 2014 11:22:49 +0000
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