If you love something, let itgo. If it comes back to you,its yours forever. If itdoesn’t, then it was nevermeant to be What doesthat mean?To me, this quote isspeaking of the mostfundamental rule of theuniverse. Love isn’t ownedand cannot be taken. It canonly be given. This quotetalks about mutual loveand of the only valid test.If you love someone, youhave to give them thefreedom to choose foritself.The freedom to choose isimportant, as sometimes alove is out of duty, loyalty,fear (of loneliness orretaliation) or for someother reason. In each ofthese cases, the love (truelove) is only in onedirection, the otherdirection of love is taintedby the reason for the love(something other than truelove).By turning the other personloose, they if they comeback, it is (one hopes)because they love you, andthe feeling is mutual. Ifthey don’t come back, youwould only have beenfighting a losing battle tohold on to them. That is abattle that you willeventually lose, so lose itearly and get on with yourlife.Why is love (true love)important?Let’s start with somedefinitions, shall we? Loveis defined atthefreedictionary as“A deep, tender, ineffablefeeling of affection andsolicitude toward a person,such as that arising fromkinship, recognition ofattractive qualities or asense of underlyingoneness.” and “An intenseemotional attachment, asfor a pet or a treasuredobject.”Another definition toconsider is infatuation,which is defined as “Afoolish, unreasoning orextravagant passion orattraction (synonym oflove).” If we look at thesecond definition listed forlove, and apply it to peopleinstead of pets or objects,you can see how it wouldresemble infatuation.To me, this is where Idifferentiate true love fromcommon love. True love(you may use a differentword) is between twopeople and is mutual innature and based on thecalling of the heart.Compare this with arelationship where oneperson has a form of lovefor the other, but it isn’tmutual. If you’ve everexperienced both kinds,you probably have adefinite preference for whatI call true love, right?Where can I apply this inmy life?We all have relationships inour life. Some even rise tothe level that makes itappropriate to use the wordlove. Whether it’s familiallove, brotherly love,romantic love or whateverother label you may have,putting the word love in it,takes it to a whole newlevel.How do you measure love,and what are the rules youexpect love to use? Whatare the do’s and don’ts?Does everyone have theexact same list? Do you talkabout where things standoften enough to notice thatthings are drifting apart, oris your first clue their lastact of desperation?An interesting descriptionof what I consider truelove, with propermotivation, can be found inthe New Testament, 1stCorinthians, Chapter 13,Verses 4-7 :4 Love is patient, love iskind. It does not envy, itdoes not boast, it is notproud. 5 It does notdishonor others, it is notself-seeking, it is not easilyangered, it keeps no recordof wrongs. 6 Love does notdelight in evil but rejoiceswith the truth. 7 It alwaysprotects, always trusts,always hopes, alwaysperseveres.Read the whole passage,and compare it to some ofthe people you love. Howwell does your love scoreby this measure? I try tokeep track of my loves andkeep track of how well I amdoing. How often have youmeasured your love? It’snot something most of usdo very often, if ever, right?You may have a differentway to measure love, andthat’s fine. Just be sure thatyour partners in love knowwhat your scale is, so thateveryone is on the samepage. My wife and I chosethe Biblical passage abovefor our wedding, so wewould know how tomeasure our behavior andour love.Take some time todetermine what yourdefinition of love is andhow it is to be measured.Then share it with thepeople you love and see ifthey agree. It might end ina lively discussion (orworse), but if that’s thecase, that discussion willoccur eventually, right? Doit now, before there areyears of resentment builtinto it, and that way thehurt may be lessened andmay be easier to heal.This is probably the scariestof all the quotes I havetackled, from a practicalstandpoint. Who wants totake a chance at losingsomeone they love? But, asthe quote says, if they don’tcome back, it wasn’t meantto be. So by not taking thatleap of faith and turningthem lose, you may end uppouring a lot of time andeffort into a relationshipthat is destined to fail. Andthat hurts a lot more. Trustme on that one.
Posted on: Sun, 26 Jan 2014 09:59:44 +0000
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