Im driving into Anchorage this morning. I was on a 4-lane divided road (not an actual highway, but similar, basically a 4 mile long connector between the Parks Highway and the Palmer-Wasilla Highway). It was early and I was the only person on the road. I was enjoying my morning latte and listening to the music and feeling pretty good. I was in the right lane and doing, lets say, a few miles over the speed limit. I saw headlights coming around a curve far behind me, coming up fast (really fast, considering that I was doing, ahem, a few miles per hour over the posted speed limit as is my wont). Not that I gave it any actual thought, but I figured the car would just go on around me in the fast lane. Because why wouldnt it, right? Instead it pulled right up behind me and proceeded to tailgate my truck. Were the only two vehicles on the road and this chucklehead was tailgating me. Seriously, what the hell? After a quarter mile or so, just before we reached the signal marking the college intersection, the car floored it, whipped into the fast lane and zoomed up next to me. The driver was a large middle-aged woman and she was screaming at me in red faced hate and shaking her fist (I couldnt tell if she was actually giving me the finger or just threatening to punch my face in). I wish Id been ready with a camera because it would have made a great shot: the large Christian cross swinging from her rearview mirror made an fascinating contrast to her all consuming florid rage. She roared on past, cut suddenly in front of me forcing me to brake hard to avoid hitting her bumper. THEN she slammed on her brakes, I stood on my mine and threw the truck into the left lane and was damned glad there wasnt anybody else on the road ... and she made a right turn at the intersection. I should have gotten her license plate number, instead as she disappeared down the side road in a cloud of gravel, I couldnt help but notice the rear end of her car was covered in religious bumper-stickers. And I was all alone on the road again. Only now I was covered in my morning coffee which had come violently adrift during the maneuvering. Also, there may have been some mild navy-style cursing. And, because thats just how my universe works, the MP3 player picked that exact moment to randomly select Lucy Schwartzs Those Days. You know, Im not a religious person, but Im damned glad that the angry woman was. I mean, can you imagine how big of asshole shed be if she HADNT found peace in Jesus? _______________ _______________ Note, because I know how these things inevitably go, please attend: This anecdote is about one person, whose religion I infer from context and about which I could be wrong (She could have borrowed the car, for example). I relate the story because thats what I do, I turn things I see in daily life into humorous observations for your entertainment and consideration. This post is NOT, repeat NOT, repeat NOT, intended to condemn, bash, stereotype, or otherwise pick on ALL religious people or any one other than the woman who behaved like a galloping ass. I found her bizarre road rage an ironic contrast to her advertised beliefs. That is all. I ask the religious people not to go out of their way to be offended, I ask the non-religious people not to go out of their way to be offensive. If youre going to comment, think about your contribution first. Otherwise, youll be leaving the group to make room for somebody else because Im short on patience this morning and long past the point of putting up with it. And yes, it does irritate me that I need to add postscripts like this, thanks for asking. // Jim
Posted on: Thu, 10 Jul 2014 17:37:46 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015