Im gonna be real open here for a min. Ive been struggling with depression, c-ptsd, and some other stuff. When it gets bad I tend to close off to everyone. Yeah Ill post something funny etc but Im not really here. I stop talking to people I care about and I close down. Sometimes I do things other people cant understand. . Guess what. . I dont either. I dont mean to hurt anyone. . I just find it hard during the episodes to communicate. Im going to therapy. I have a shit load of physical and emotional wounds. Being physically sick as well doesnt help. As Sherree Scales and some others can tell you, sometimes its so bad I go in for rest. I am about to that point again. Sometimes suicide attempts are not a cry for help and personally I find it odd when ppl say that. For me I clearly intended for success not a attempt. I thank the friends that didnt let me push them away. And the ones who didnt get butt hurt and loved me when I cant love myself. Im learning that mental illness isnt something to be ashamed of. I didnt ask for it. I just wish I didnt have to have it and the physical illnesses too. Sometimes I just feel spent. I do stalk you guys (I.e. John Wayne) and I do get cheer and comfort ( Naomi Dollar, Kimberly Heath Moore, Kimberly Stevens, Teresa Paul Del Rio, Emma Woodsby, Ronica Rae, Richard Buck Rogers, Jesus Del Rio, Mindy Rek Doolittle, Candi Brown Clark, Cindy Goar Rogers and some others it wont let me tag) .. so if Im not actively participating dont think I dont love you..just know something is very wrong. Love, Jai ❤❤
Posted on: Thu, 21 Aug 2014 02:26:35 +0000
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