Im not a child anymore and havent been since 2009... 2010 was the year I really woke up and stopped being so neive and carefree. All this happened because of a select group of friends, who I dont know whether to thank, or be slightly upset with. These high school friends, (some of my best friends at the time) made fun of my posts and berated me for things a child would do or say. I was blissful and happy. I had no fear and only love for others. But I didnt realize how awkward I was. I guess you could say Im cooler now, however its hard for me to even honestly be as genuinely open and kind to others. Like I used to be. In 2010 I changed drastically once again when my first relationship went terribly wrong and, anything bad that could have happened did. I had lost all hope, till I realized I hadnt lost anything. But through this cycle, I became cynical and bitter and slightly jaded. (So to recap after my dad died I pretty much lost most of my closest friends with no knowledge of how. In my mind. And also got turned out by my first boyfriend than my second. ) for a while after this I became so obsessed with protecting myself it became hard to let anyone in. Therefore...I will not apologies for what made my friends leave me because I was only a kid. It was only my naivete and awkward behavior that pushed them away. And for that I need not to apologies. However they can understand that not only have they underestimated me but they judged me too soon. I have also begun to pave the way for me to live. By going to school for engineering and business, Having a job at Wal-Mart for 3 years, and having a relationship for over 3 years. I bet those friends never thought I could do this? Huh? I also have new wonderful friends as well as the old ones who have stayed with me. Among them my best friends Alyssa Keezer and Derek New-Peurasaari who have helped me a great deal. Breanna Miljour has been there pretty much through everything. Tiffani Trafton-Lloyd built me up when I was down. Richard Veysey gave me options when I needed them and supported me when I was afraid. And Kara Foss weathered the storm of living in the apartment and helping me stay more so sane than I would have been without her. And of course I cant forget Ezra Spofford who has been helping me open up again since January 11 2011 back when we started dating. Thank you everyone. It means a lot, and always will Love Relm ♥
Posted on: Sat, 29 Mar 2014 05:48:08 +0000
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