In response to the new Facebook guidelines I hereby declare that my caribou is attached to all of my personal dolphins, iguanas, corgis, parrots, professional parrots and vipers, etc. (as a result of the Beer Convention). For commercial use of the above, my consent (only in the form of a modern dance) is needed at all times. By the present communiqué, I notify Al Gore, and the Facebook algorithm scanning this, that it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, disseminate, make rude faces, sculpt with Papier-mâché, or take any other action against me on the basis of this profile and/or its contents. The aforementioned prohibited actions also apply to employees, storm troopers, ants and/or any compact mini-fridges under Facebook’s direction or control. The content of this profile is private, top secret, code red, for your eyes only and confidential information. The violation of my privacy is punished by law (UCC 1 1-308-308 1-103, the Rome Statute, and the Punch Buggy, No Returns, 1997) or via a spelling bee consisting of only puns. Facebook is now an open capital entity, and is controlled by a team of obsessive compulsive goldfish . All members are recommended to publish a notice like this, just don’t steal this one. I am serious. If you do not publish a statement at least once, you will be personally held responsible for the lack of a decent movie adaption of Dune! With all the remakes being released, is it too much to ask? Facebook, I’ve changed my mind… you can have all my stuff, as long as you hire the guy who directed Drive to remake Dune. Oh, and a good Chocolate Torte would also work.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Dec 2014 04:10:47 +0000
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