In the days and weeks following my Fathers death, countless people told me “it will get easier.” Now, nine years later, I can say that yes, in some ways it has...My Fathers death is no longer one of the first things I remind myself of when I wake up, nor is it the last thing I think about before I fall asleep; it no longer consumes me....But, even though it has been 5293 days, I still miss him... Losing my father was extremely difficult because I lost a mentor, the person who was meant to help guide me through many parts of my life.... It made me feel as if the loss of my dad has taken away the person I am inside, has removed a piece of myself that was integral to making me the person that Im suppose to be... I still have days and weeks when it’s just as painful as it was nine years ago, and I still have moments that make my head spin... And tonight was one of those nights... While standing in front of Allaah Tala I couldnt help but think of him and shed tears.. one of the hardest things that has come with losing my Dad is the occasional realization of how much time has passed... Ramadan, Eid and other milestones are all reminders...here are times when I realize that I’m slowly forgetting things I swore I never would and it scares me... So, I make a concerted effort to replay poignant moments in my mind...believe that death is something you will “get over.” However, the truth is, I feel the pain every single day... Nine years later, it’s not a constant, overwhelming, consuming grief, but the little things, within which grief hides, that hits me when I least expect it....Allaah Subhanu Wa Tala knows my pain, my tears, because a huge part of my life went when my dad passed on...Everything beautiful and meaningful in my life reflects my relationship with my father...I miss my fathers hands, and his voice... Thinking of him makes me smile with tears in my eyes...When I hear someone whinge about their parents I want to shake them (and possibly give them a good, hard slap)... I want to say, Dont you realise how lucky you are... Appreciate them while you still have a chance... Nothing is more important and worthy of your time than the people you love.... May my father be among the righteous and loved by Allaah Subhanu Wa Ta`ala.... Aameen ya Rabbal Alameen... And may we take heed in losing our parents for it is the inevitable reality of our fleeting lives...
Posted on: Mon, 07 Jul 2014 05:54:39 +0000
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