In the past 5 days Ive been in 3 fights. Count em, 3! Rocky Balboas got nothin on me. The first fight was at the lunch counter in Jackson Hole on the Snake River. Yeah, she put up a good fight but I came up swinging. literally. Of course, after she threw everyone out of our boat, tipped it upside down, and then caught me underneath the raft in the white water (which felt a lot like being tossed around in my Maytag), my brain did the considerate thing by immediately replaying the Titanic movie that I glanced at for a whole 30 seconds the night before when flipping through the TV channels in the hotel room. Wheres my whistle? Come back, Come back I got a nice green blush color on my check as 1st prize. Lucky me. I am now officially the newest member of the Snake River Swim Team ;) The second was at the LDS owned Deseret Mills while volunteering to inspect bags of Instant Potato Pearls as they come hot off the conveyor belt. Easy. Grab, check, toss, repeat. All while getting pelted from a few random misguided potato pearls that didnt make their way into a bag. Just a little sting here and there. No biggie. Hey, Im good at this! No training needed. Well, you know the I Love LUcy episode where she and Ethel are in the Chocolate Factory? Yeah, that was me. I figured I had it all down until…I didnt. All of the sudden it wasnt just a few misguided potato pearls pelting me. It was a few cupfuls being poured on top of my head at first and then, I look up. Hey? whats going….Uumm ….an entire 30 lb box of potato pearls tore open overhead and rained a fiery storm of hell, fire and damnation right on my head. It was a direct hit! ON me. Only me. Must. get. out. of here. Must run. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, huh? Um, the floors at that place are like spit shinned everyday! Dried Instant Potato pearls on a spit shinned floor? I think not! My body said move but my feet sang, Flintstones, meet the Flintstones. I was running in place while everyone around me just watched in disbelief. I was in the Twilight Zone. Everything was in slow motion. I had no control. Thats when mercifully, finally, I hit the floor on my knees. And then the ole upside-down Spread Eagle. Oh, no, I didnt stop there. I then embarked on a new journey by sliding across the floor on a bed of potato pearls, head, shoulders, knees and all. Thankfully I stopped just short of slamming into the wall. Up my nose, in my ears, down my back, you get the idea. My volunteer hours came halting to a stop as I suddenly needed some gravy. Just add water. My 3rd fight came last evening with a fight over a geranium pot that was placed on someones side of their sidewalk. No details needed. It was a knock out. ADRIAAAAANNNN?
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 15:07:11 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015