In the year that has passed… In memory of my crazy mom. In the year that has passed, so many things have changed. New friendships were made, current friendships have grown stronger and sisters have made a life-altering, never-ending bond. I had to watch my second family lose Joe, the “life of a towns party” and someone that was a brother to me and one of the nicest people I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing. The annual “vaca” to Branson is now a trip between lifelong friends with new memories to make instead of a mother/mudder/daughter weekend of the “daughters” going to get our mother her continental breakfast, only to which is wasn’t sufficient. In the year that has passed, I cooked my very first turkey thanks to a great cook in the Blue Springs Water Department. I went to New Orleans with Kinley and experienced one of my now favorite places in the world. I have grown close to a family that has two amazing little girls that have helped me in a way you couldn’t imagine and let me see that happiness can exist. I made my annual “Christmas Cookie Feast”, minus one great helper. In the year that has passed, I decided to leave my job of 6.5 years and try something completely out of my comfort zone. Saying goodbye to my friends was a hard thing to do, but the reward, the stress free life and the happiness that has been restored to me is one you couldn’t begin to describe. I have learned that money is certainly not everything, but friends and family and memories are. In the year that has passed, Saturdays are no longer “our” day, but rather a day filled with uncertainty, and a “whatever I want to do” mantra. In the year that has passed, I saw my best friend lose her mom, cry at the visitation and ask me if the pain ever goes away. I have accomplished and been through many things in the past year, but in all of those things, she has not been there…physically. She is the reason that new memories are made and the annual girls trip, she is the reason I cooked my first turkey. She is the reason I had to roll my own snickdoodles at Christmas time. She is the reason my Saturdays are different and that I now go with Kinley to get peaches, and lastly, she is the reason my best friend looked me in the eye and asked me if the pain of losing your mother ever goes away. .. it doesn’t. She was the root of my life, the anchor of my entire family (and her friends) and the hands down, single most, 100% best person I have ever known. I miss her every single day, always for different things. More than the big things, what I most miss are the 5,546,645,654 times she called daily, and when something happens I can’t tell her the gossip or I can’t complain to her when I am mad. Most importantly, I miss her advice and squeezing into dressing rooms together so I can have an honest opinion. I miss every crazy, wacky thing she did. I miss her driving mishaps (there were a lot), her stories and her love of board games. She was my very best friend in the world and I always knew I could get her honest opinion because her love was unconditional. In the year that has passed however; I can tell you that life goes on, things change and she wouldn’t want someone to sit around and be sad. She would want her passing to mean that life really is short and to do things that are uncomfortable, soul searching and that are life altering. I fully trust that she knew what was happening and made sure that I was able to see her that night, told me she loved me, made Kinley’s favorite pie and that somehow, coincidentally, Hanni was off work and didn’t have to work the next day so that she could stay with me the whole time. In the year since my mom’s death, I try to do one thing every day that makes her proud. I try not to let my fear decide my fate and most importantly…I know that while I may be experiencing these things for the first time, “on my own” she is always on my mind, always in my heart and always right beside me in spirit saying “let’s do this!”. She was one hell of a woman who made her mark on many people and lives, and that… ladies and gentlemen, is a person that is impossible to forget! I’ll love you forever and I’ll miss you for always.
Posted on: Thu, 24 Jul 2014 11:55:46 +0000