Insert 20 Monwai: uhm, we better get going ke. Sino: haybo, but sisathetha njena. Monwai: its getting late and we had a long day. Luke and Monwai got up.. Thami: oh, okay ke. So ngomso, ithini into yangomso? Monwai shrugged his shoulders. Thami: Sihle? Me: I thought we were still going shopping nangomso. Thami: okay ke, sizanifounela ngomso ke ksasa. I got up too, we said goodbye and left.. On the way, the silence was just too loud. Nobody had anything to say to anybody. Not even music was playing. Cwaka nje, all the way. We got home and we all went to our bedrooms, without a word.. I got to my room and changed into my pjs. I really didnt get the reasons behind Monwabisis mood change. I could see that his mood changed, but I didnt know why. Eka Luke ke I knew why he was sulking. I got into bed and prayed, then fell asleep.. I was sitting at home, at the Thwanis. Watching TV in the living room, alone.. Someone knocked on the front door and I went to open, it was my mother, Noluthando. I smiled and she smiled back.. Her: Khuthsununu, yhuu andidinwe sana lwam. She pushed me to the side and walked in.. Me: mama, you know andilithandi elo gama. Please. Her: oh hay wethu, khawundenzele into ephungwayo. Me: okay, how was your day? Her: sizakuthetha ugqiba kwakho ukwenza le tea. Me: ha a, thetha ngoku mama. Im still going to cook, so andizoba na chance yoncokola. Her: okay, izohlala apha ke, ndikubalisele about my day. I went to sit next to her.. She faced me, still maintaining a smile. Me: and? Her: my day was okay. I had fun at work. Me: hhmm Her: but.. She looked away.. Me: but?? Her: but I hate coming home. Me: huh? Her: your father. Hes hurting me. Hes continously breaking my heart. She looked down, fiddling with her fingers like a 5 year old. Me: but you have us. We love you mos. Her: I know, but andikuthandi ukuhlala apha. I kept quiet.. Her: Siphesihle mntanam, one day uzakukhula ube mdala. Uzakufuna ukutshata and start your own family. I nodded. Her: mandikuxelele ngoku ke sana lwam, ungaze ube sisizathu sokuba umntana wabantu azisole ngokutshata. Me: uyazisola wena mama? Her: umphathe kakuhle umntana wabantu. Angahlali kabuhlungu ngenxa yakho. Angalali elila umntana wabantu Siphesihle. Me: mama please, Im still young mos. Andikazotshata mna. Her: okay, ndenzele ke la tea bendiyicelile. Ndiyagodola. Me: okay, one cup of tea, coming right up. I got up and went to the kitchen. Mamas words were echoing in my ears, why would she tell a 15 year old all of that? Because in my dream, I was about 15. I made a hot cup of tea for her and then carried it in a tray, to the kitchen.. Me: I hope youre- I stopped mid sentence when I realised she wasnt there. Me: mama? I looked around the room, but she wasnt there.. Me: mama? Uphi? I placed the tray on the coffee table.. Me: come on mama, dont leave me here. Uphi? I ran to the main bedroom, she wasnt there. I started panicking, looking for her all over the house, and she wasnt there. I sat down on the kitchen floor and covered my face with both hands. She was gone, again. I opened my eyes, realising that it was all just a dream, a bad dream. But the pain, the pain felt so real. My heart was sinking in my own misery and sorrow. I sat up and checked the time on my phone, it was 5:30am.. So mna I spent the whole night dreaming of my mother. The things she said made sense to me and were so relevent. But she taught me that the dead cannot communicate with the alive, she taught me that. So, that woman in my dream wasnt her. Or it may be that I missed her so much, that I dreamt of her and all the things she would say to me, if she was alive. Before everything else, I prayed. When I was done, I got up and went to the bathroom, to wash my face and brush my teeth. When I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes were blood red. So was I crying for real? I asked myself as I washed myself. I washed my face and brushed my teeth and then went to sit on my bed, taking my laptop out. I wanted to check my Facebook out. It had been something close to a year if not more, without me logging in. The way I didnt have time for social networks, I didnt really understand when someone was addicted. Like, how does that happen? How does it get that far, to be labelled as an addiction? I logged in and checked my inboxes and stuff. My Facebook was a bore, maybe thats how I never got to a point where I could not go an hour without checking it out. Id be gone for months, and come back only to find that I have one inbox from Luke asking uphi?.. Mxm.. I logged out and checked suits online, with prices and delivery plans. Online shopping was and is still the best option for someone like me, who finds shopping as a tiring activity. I spent a while, going through stuff that I wanted to purchase. Few minutes later, I got up and went to take a shower. When I was done, I got dressed and made my bed. Then I went to the kitchen, to prepare breakfast. While I was still busy, peeling onions, Luke walked in .. Luke: hey chommie. Me: hey I didnt look at him, my eyes were teary from the onion I was busy with.. Luke: need any help? Me: uhm, yeah. Get the tomatoes peeled too. Luke: okay. He took a few tomatoes and peeled them. Luke: so, I thought about what you said yesterday. Me: hhmm, and? Luke: okay, Im sorry for doing all that. I didnt mean to make you guys uncomfortable. Me: its okay, as long as you understand what I meant. Luke: I do understand, chommie. Me: ingxaki mna andibikho apha, so andifuni udike abantu. Luke: utata wakho uthe ndiyadika? Me: no, he didnt. Ndiyatsho nje. Luke: oh, because ke shame udika yena kqala. I looked at him.. Luke: relax, Im kidding. Me: oh. Luke: yes, yhe wethu, khawutsho ke. Me: what? Luke: uthethba utata wakho akayi kwi Grad? Me: mos babona njalo bona. These people always tell me whats going to happen or what must happen. Luke: but Sihle, ngutata wakho lona. Me: I know, Ill talk to him about it. Luke: uzakuthini kuye? That makanyamezele? Me: no man, Ill see what Ill say. If kaloku akakho right with this, then maybe uSino kuzofuneka angahambi. Luke: thethba wena awuyicingi lo nto? Ufuna ade atsho? Me: Luke, ndiyayicinga. Okay? I do. Qha they- Luke: theres no they apha Sihle, khawukhe uyeke ukuva ngabantu. Yenza lento wena ufuna ukuyenza mfondini. Me: I get you. Kaloku ndithi it seemed to me like yinto egqityiweyo, with my father involved in the decision making. Luke: ucinga uba utata wakho decided not to go? Really? Me: okay fine Luke, Ill sort it out. Luke: you better. I smiled, so he was giving the same amount of lecture I gave him, just a few hours ago. We finished making breakfast. Me: utata usalele na? Ayfani naye into yolala kangaka. Luke: inoba udiniwe kaloku. Me: let me go and check up on him.. Luke: sure ke chommie.. I went to the main bedroom and knocked, he invited me in.. I walked in, Monwai was sitting on his bed, busy on his laptop. Me: morning Monwai: hhhmmm Me: breakfast is ready Monwai: okay, keep mine warm. Me: okay.. I took a few steps away, and then stopped on my tracks and looked at him.. Me: are you okay? Monwai: Im fine. He didnt even look at me.. Me: but you dont look fine to me. Monwai: how do I look to you? He looked at me.. Me: pissed off, mad, angry, and all that. Monwai: no, Im fine. Me: are you sure? Because really, you dont look- Monwai: Siphesihle stop it maan. Andithi ndithe Im okay? Ufuna ndithini? Hee? Ufuna ndithini mntana ndini? Me: whoaw, tata whats with the- Monwai: no, ndidikiwe maan. Ndidikwe finish mna yilento iqhubeka apha. I looked at him.. Monwai: ndizode ndibe ngutata wakho nini? Hee? Coz you always do things to remind me uba ndandingekho ebomini bakho. You always make sure that I feel left out. Ufuna ndizame njani? Ive tried everything in my power to make things right. I took you in, bought you a car, Ive been there for you. Ufuna ndide ndithini ukuze undibone nje ngotata wakho? Ndanele mna yilento. Me: listen- Monwai: akhonto ndizakuyimamela Sphesihle. Ndanele mna yilento. If awundixoleli maan yitsho. Let me know so that ndiyazi uba ndime phi apha kuwe. Let me know so that ndiyazi uba in you, I have no son but a creature I donated sperms in creating. I looked down.. Monwai: andizoyinyamezela mna lento. Decide ngoku ke ukuba ndiyintoni apha kuwe. Because clearly, Im not a father. Me: you are my father. Monwai: heey!! Ndithi decide ngoku ukuba ndiyintoni na apha kuwe, because Im clearly not your father mos. Utata wakho ngu Thami wena. So decide ke uba mna ndiyintoni and undixelele kwangoku ukuba awundifuni ebomini bakho. Andizohlalela ukwenziwa upopayi wenu kaloku mna. Ndiyintoni kuwe kwedini??
Posted on: Wed, 20 Aug 2014 09:08:17 +0000