Is everything you need within you? It is the spirit in us that causes us to want meaning in our life and to find it by way of two main things - to help others and to help ourselves. Often with so many of our own fears or insecurities within, we prefer to stay safe and secure by dedicating ourselves to helping others, which brings us a nice sense of purpose and satisfaction. Some who have reached a point of balance within will gladly help others, just because. But they hold a very important knowing that differs from their low self worth people-pleasing friends – to value and spend time on themselves in equal quantity, with the knowledge that it is not selfish or egotistical to do so, that infact time spent facing themselves is their most worthwhile duty, for this is how they gain acceptance of self, rather than losing themselves in dedication to others. Ask yourself- do you endlessly help others so that you gain validation or approval from them for yourself? Or do you get your approval of self from within? Usually those with low self worth will dedicate all of their time and energy into helping others because its a perfect distraction, which feels loving, rewarding and beautiful. The pain and vulnerability associated with facing themselves can be too much to bear, (if they are even aware of it) and they often crave approval of who they are as worthy from outside sources such as loved ones, friends and society. Often they are highly social, fair, compassionate, excellent at gentle persuasion, over generous and acting as counsellor to all their piers and know the value in helping others also helps them feel valued, despite the truth of the matter which is that deep down they don’t feel worthy and often they need reassurance that they are safe and loved. Such beautiful people do good work and never cause harm, they beat themselves up enough as it is, and so they would never dream of inflicting such pain onto another. Others with low self worth who crave other’s approval do not realise it, for its a lifelong habit developed in childhood which feels natural to them. Everyone one has work to do on themselves in some form as our lives are ever changing. Just as we reach one goal or a point of balance, something within or without of us shifts and bends creating new challenges and new perspectives to form. Our reality is what we make it to be based on how we perceive things. We long for a comfort zone and usually we set one up for that safety net and stability so we become stronger in the mind and heart with that comfort zone backbone to prop us up. But that if the comfort zone changes? Or disappears? What then? Suddenly we need to re-evaluate, adapt and face some part of ourselves in releasing our fears or insecurities. To me, the world we live in is truly far behind in allowing the acceptance of who we are and how we truly think and feel to become mainstream. But thankfully we are intelligent, and in these kind-hearted people who feel unworthiness or hopelessness we often see the miracle that in helping others like they do, most will ofcourse do any necessary work on improving themselves too, along the way. Eventually, whether it takes weeks, months or years, or even a lifetime, low self worth people pleasers will realise how much they have enabled their loved ones and others. They will reach a point of not wanting to be taken advantage of, used, or taken forgranted anymore. And this, is the beginning of them experiencing healthy esteem again. These people make the greatest teachers, counsellors and leaders there is, for they dont lose their kind hearts, they simply find healthy balance by doing the work within and this empowers their work tenfold. Facing ourselves can be ugly, destructive, adventurous and filled with all kinds of rollercoaster-type emotions as we love ourselves, hate ourselves and hang it all out to dry and analyse. But its worth it, you are worth it. It is in these times that you truly carve solid foundations and pathways to succeed in life, for the rest of your life. Nobody can save you, except you. It isnt your job to enable or rescue others from themselves either, let them do the work so they may find a way to carve their own success like you are. We all need to do it at some point, and oh if only it were for a weekend instead of an ongoing ride lol! And thats where finding and following what matters most to you (by looking inside your heart) comes in as the catalyst for major shifts, major change and your truth to be seen. This is where you have the opportunity to be your absolute authentic self forever more. Let me tell you there is nothing more rewarding than that, because an authentic person with healthy esteem and healthy perspectives on life is a success from the get-go. And you have got that in you. Everyone does. Every single person has potential. Every single person who feels lost or worthless has the potential to take their power back. Sometimes, you neednt believe in yourself first before you do great things. Sometimes, you simply do it, and the belief in yourself follows after. This is why I always say that everything you need is within you. - Brigit Goldworthy x (C) 2014, Shift Your Perception a book by Brigit Goldworthy, being released later this year.
Posted on: Fri, 07 Mar 2014 23:04:15 +0000
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