It has been confirmed (allegedly) that the Labour Leader , Johan Lamont disappearance from the poetical scene in Scotland over the last few weeks has been due to a sever medical condition. Reports leaking out of the Glasgow SLAB headquarters suggest that this is a recurrence of a previously unreported condition, for which the labour leader has been receiving treatment for some time. It has been identified as a viral infection identified as Melius simul-timoreitis. This serious condition is reportedly causes sever catatonic periods, searching for tree inhabiting wildlife, followed by Tourette type outbursts of a political nature. Sufferers can commonly be identified by continual lying or denying behaviour, failing to acknowledge others or answer questions, while performing impressions of small comedy cross dressing characters. It appears this disease has been spreading through the labour party in Scotland, having contracted the infection from bedfellows in the Scottish office, with whom they have been in close contact. Anas Sarwar, the Labour in Scotland Deputy leader, also thought (allegedly) to have contracted the disease, is (allegedly) currently being able to controll the infection by use large Suppository versions of the of the drug Loundinium, although it is not clear if this under private (NHS England), or Free at point of delivery (NHS Scotland) clinical treatment. Further reports will be filed by the many investigative reporters in Scotland, with individual facts on this case. Please feel free to share and comment.
Posted on: Sun, 18 Aug 2013 19:25:56 +0000
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