It was March 12th 2013. Genny and I were on our way from FOL, Sangre Grande when we got the phone call that told us Carl had passed. I drove, tears in my eyes, straight to the Arima Health facility. My family cried that day and the days that followed. One year later to the date, we still cry, we still hurt, we still ache and pain from the loss that is Heavens gain. Will the pain ever go away? I think not, at least not before Jesus comes. We learn to cope, to adjust, but no it does not go away permanently. Ive learnt a few things over the past year. I should say Ive confirmed a few things, because I already knew them and teach them but this experience has brought them home to me in an experiential way. 1. The loss of a loved one is hard to accept and even when its accepted, its hard to cope with. Thats why we can cry. Eccl. 7 says that by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. 2. Someone said its like losing a limb. You cant ever forget its missing, but you have to adjust to a new normal. Our new normal: life without Carl. 3. David, Job, Tammy Trent, Mammy Una and many others have learnt through similar experiences that crying out to God and pouring out their hearts to him and their grief on him goes a long way. He gives strength. Ps 27:14 says to wait on the Lord, be of good courage and he will strengthen our hearts.Ive confirmed this. 4. Courage. It takes a whole lot to look at a picture, speak of Carl, look at his little house that he single handedly built but never completed. Yes it takes courage, plenty courage. Our family got together at Ians place on Christmas day. It was great having so many of us there but it was awkward for me. I did not know if to mention Carls name or not. the void was felt by not only me. On Boyos birthday we met to celebrate both Boyos and mammys birthdays, Carl was missed again. Ive visited his grave a few times during the past year. It still feels as though were leaving him there every time we leave. Forgive me for writing from a somewhat personal standpoint but I know my siblings and mom and dads feelings are the same. Above and beyond all that Ive shared so far is the comfort in knowing that my/our brother loved God and served him the best he could and as a result, hes at home with Jesus, streets of gold, no more pain or hardship. Sunday 16th will mark one year since his burial. Im taking mammy to Cumuto to visit his grave and lay a wreath and a marker and a plant. Dont know who else may want to come along. Today as every day for the past year, we remember our brother, our friend, our example of humility, peace, innocence and so much more. We remember Carl Alvarez. See you soon brother.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 04:54:35 +0000
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