Its Christmas letter time! Time to update all my friends and acquaintances on the status of me and my family. First theres myself, as most of you know I started a new job this year and even though Im not making as much Im having a lot more fun. I admit I was nervous about becoming a male exotic dancer but with the stage name Dirk McJello abs Hunkaluv you cant go wrong. Leise has recently switched careers as well. We are both excited about her becoming an unlicensed, unregulated pharmaceutical manufacturer and since the lab is in our extra bathroom the profit margin is thru the roof! Our oldest daughter, Tia has recently been infected with an alien parasite and we are hoping to get a reality show interested in filming the slimy little worm thing bursting from her belly live on pay per view. We plan to call it AHHHHHH GET IT OUT GET IT OUT!!! James our middle child is still in Las Vegas and is doing well in his chosen career of witness disposal. As a matter of fact he has just been promoted from shallow grave digger to wood chipper operator. I hear he looks quite dashing in his rubber boots and raincoat. And finally our youngest Allie is planning out her college career. So far shes trying to decide between majoring in theology and medical science. On one hand she REALLY wants to start her own cult, but she dislikes kool-aid. On the other hand her experimental brain transplant between the dog and a Jamaican cockroach has not only resulted in the net intelligence growth of the dog he also does a kick ass Bob Marley impression. Thats all from the Moffatt family this year. We hope all of you are doing well and just to remind you all if you need a holiday pick me up Im performing at the congo room at the holiday inn 7 days a week and I go full monty! Merry Christmas The Moffatt family.
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 00:30:33 +0000
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