Its hard to say I cant relate now. Trying to act upon the feeling is easier said then done. Ive always been afraid of failure, and probably always will. I think thats why it been so hard to put myself out there. Im truly am grateful for the people in my life and how they support me. However, in return all Ive done is nothing for them and simply because I dont want to fail them. The guilt still eats me from the inside, and all I want to do is cry. Im sorry I have not done my part in life, especially to those certain people. I cant call you a brother, even if weve know each other since first grade, if I dont even know where you live. Or even congratulated you correct on your marriage to Mrs. Right I cant call you a best friend, if I make no attempts to see you outside of work. Or if the only times I see you are Tuesdays, while youre working at Alternate Universes. Or if I never return your calls or text. I cant be a best man even if we live together, but make zero effort to help. I cant call you a close friend if I cant even make the effort to chat with you, even though youre a click away. And worst of all, I cant and will probably never get to call you a lover, if I cant bring myself to be honest with how I feel, simply because I didnt want to fail you. I apologize to you all, and can ask only ask for forgiveness, I deserve nothing more. I cant promise Ill be able to close these gaps that I have let come between us, but Ill be sure to put up an effort. Though I may need some help.
Posted on: Thu, 31 Oct 2013 04:59:31 +0000
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