Its so fascinating to see how Mormons who proclaim to value honesty above all, and for whom being honest in all their dealings with people is a prerequisite to getting into heaven, deal with personal embarrassment and failings so dishonestly. By contrast, here I am, the raging lesbian apostate, so truthful that its to my own detriment over and over again. The irony is so bitter its like an art film made by teenagers. But heres where its good to make Truth your number one value in life: If I made a huge mistake that caused me to be demoted from my high-profile job and forced to move my family to a new city, I would own it publicly. If I had a kid who was off the rails, Id be the first person making sure that they get their just desserts. (Just hypothetical examples.) If the consequences for this honesty were severe, I would just problem solve that and make peace with it because I know that trying to cover up a lie and being worried that people will find out the truth is a prison sentence. I cant imagine a worse daily existence. When you choose truth, you get something so much more valuable in return than being able to feel superior, or to have self-esteem that requires a good ranking in comparison to other people: You have true self-worth, humility, and deep peace. Making truth your number one value forces you to make better choices in all ways, which contributes to feelings of self-worth overall. Here I am in Alberta amongst my former community and support network, where Ive discovered awful sue-worthy slander is being spread about me, and I have total peace because I know that I have no secrets, no lies, and no shame. Im so far from perfect that it can be overwhelming, but I at least know that I am honest and good and I derive all of my self-worth from this. Im so grateful for Mormonism for instilling the value of honesty into me.
Posted on: Mon, 04 Aug 2014 20:47:05 +0000
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