Ive been feeling stressed out & feel out of place. I am questining myelf and my place or rather purpose. As I continue to struggle the past few weeks/months and really years. I have found myself trying to re-evaluate the path and some decisions I have have made in life. I put up walls to keep people out and I hide the feelings I have inside. I have had to forgive others because I seek forgiveness myself. It seems like lately I find myself trying to make ammends whether I feel I am/was at fault, life is short and death is a just heartbeat away. With that I offer a blanket appology to anyone and everyone I have wronged or offended. I do not want to be a victim of my own pride and stubborness. I have seen people waiting to long to humble themselves and before they know it it is to late. I know that I have to have faith but that is easier said than done at times especially in matters of children and family. I hope I can overcome the challenges or hurdles I face in life in a positive way. One thing weighing heavily on me everyday, is grasping the concept that a parent and childs right to parents can be taken by legislation. I see so many fathers who are not deadbeats and want an equal opportunity to raise and enjoy their children yet some how they are told No, there place is on the outside looking in- a weekend role model or babysitter at best. This is not right, it is morally wrong yet it is accepted in the same manner slavery was passed off as just the way it is. How often do we see mothers dragged into court and punished in any way for not honoring parenting time agreements. Many fathers are raped of a natrual right then forced to make payments instead of providing love, time and guidance to their children. Ive heard that everyone can handle differnt challenges and God will challenge us each individually, lately I remind myself of Job (from Bible) while I am down or asking why me? The sad part is many fathers take their own lives due to parental alienation and the emotional trauma caused by this outdated ideology. If I was not a believer I probably would have done it myself long time ago, however hell does not seem like the place I would be able to see my children again. Many fathers carry the cross or burden of being the better person while being whipped and persicuted by society, the courts and bitter exs. King Soloman was present a problem with two mothers claiming same baby, his solution was to cut baby in half, the false mother was silent the real mother cried out to save the child and was willing to give up the child to save its life. How many fathers are forced to give up their entitled right to the other parent? Yet we are just angry dads or sore losers. I would be willing to bet mothers could not and would not emotionally hold up if the situation was reversed. I feel like life is about to break me because everyday I wake up and have to get out of bed and pretend that this is ok not just in my life but for everyone, this is not a womans State its a corrupt State profiting off our children- that is just the way it is has been coined to be acceptable or the staus quo. I can only pray and hope I continue to get out of bed again each day. I am not one to give up or give in I have faith there are brighter days ahead but the sleepless nights are taking their toll. We rally behind gay rights, womans rights, the environment, fracking, and yet we leave our children and their rights behind. I grew up a fatherless child in the 80s that was back when you heard of children waiting on the steps for hours waiting for their dads who never showed. Now our family court has become a three ring circus in which fathers must jump thru flaming hoop after hoop tight rope walk without a balance pole and at the end of the day they are still lumped in the same catogory as the father that never showed. I started out appologizing to people I have offended now I will end appologizing to all of the children we let down, for the single parent homes we create by condoning and conforming to laws of man not of God. With our silence and our acceptance we fail you and our future generations.
Posted on: Thu, 20 Mar 2014 10:59:15 +0000
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