Ive been struggling with words for the past two days to answer my friends asking how Im doing. Ive decided that there are no words with enough pain inflection to express how I feel. I consider most days a success if I get up and get dressed. Forget about leaving the house - thats pure torture. Its a very strange feeling - its like your nerve endings are all exposed and anything that touches them hurts. Its actual physical pain. And I cry - a lot - over pictures, over things I see in the house, over silly things, over not holding hands as we go to sleep. I feel like im in an old Outer Limits show and Im watching my life from outside and trying to wake up and it be like it was. I know people mean well when they tell me it will be ok. It will never be ok - it will be what it will be and that will become my new normal (hate that expression). I find it so very hard to accept that life around me continues to go on without Joe in it and I just want time to stop!
Posted on: Wed, 10 Sep 2014 17:05:06 +0000
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