Ive been thinking about the whole idea of thankfulness quite a bit this year. As some of you know - or have guessed - this has NOT been a banner year for me. Between the ridiculous medication issues, half the major appliances going out in the house, the number of pets that have landed sick at my doorstep (and moved in), and finally the unexpected ousting -at the holidays, no less- from a job that I considered a BIG part of my identity... well... Honestly, this time last month, I wasnt expecting to feel at ALL thankful. My family is in three different parts of the country, all of us seem to be either in limbo or recovery in some way, and I probably wont get to see them until WELL into 2015, just due to life. But on the eve of the most important holiday in my family, I actually feel NOT so bad. Instead of being UNemployed, I am simply UNDERemployed. Yes, I am worried, but thanks to 3 part time jobs with some REALLY great people, Ive been able to keep my nostrils just far enough above the water to breathe a little. And I do mean GREAT people. I love love LOVE my guys at Mercury, the folks at Michaels are warm and welcoming, and my fellow employees at Barnes and Noble have been nice and forgiving of my mistakes. And except for maybe TWO customers, all the people that Ive talked to from behind the register have been just WONDERFUL. Im having FUN. Now... am I going to be able to keep this up? Of course not. Minimum wage cannot support people. We all know that. But Ive lasted longer than I thought. I do have some remote job possibilities that may or may not pan out as I try and discover something else - some hidden talent - I can use to support myself and the Zoo. I dont know. But I can say without a doubt that I am thankful that I know that my family and friends care, even if they really cant do anything to help. Ive made new connections, re-connections, strengthened connections, nixed the false and/or unhealthy connections, and Ive rediscovered what it is be HAPPY. In fact, I feel so uncharacteristically HAPPY despite my circumstances that Im pretty sure some of my new co-workers think Ive cracked. Or that I smoke it. Its a toss up. I dont know whats next. I dont know how long its going to take me to get out of this mess - or if thats even possible. The next time I post, It might be from the last vestiges of power from my iPhone as I push a Kroger buggy filled with books and shoes through the streets of the Metro wearing 5 layers of clothes, with 2 dogs and 6 cats tied in tow on a long length of twine, selling my vast cd/dvd/blu ray collection off a piece at a time to get my dark chocolate fix. (If you see me, feel free to throw spare change... Im sure it will be quite the entertaining show, with 6 cats tied in a line with twine). What I DO know is that my eyes are open, my slate feels clean, my family and friends are all true, and I have once again stood up to a seemingly unjust world, middle finger held high to the sky. If the Universe wants me to STAY down, its going to have to bury me six feet under. So when my mom and brother and I sit at a restaurant tomorrow - hopefully building the bottom line of the tip jar of people who bust their ass every day to make ends meet - I will hold up my Blue Moon and make my toast: Im thankful to be alive. Im really thankful for all the love and support. Because without THOSE, I wouldnt have the strength to hold up this middle finger. Amen.
Posted on: Thu, 27 Nov 2014 05:47:44 +0000
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