Ive missed Leigh so very much today. I miss her every day but some days her physical absence is brought sharply into focus with the simplest of actions or reminders. Todays were: patting her little cat on the head and realising leigh will never pat her cat again; pressing the on button on the dishwasher in the new kitchen and realising that she will never be in that new kitchen or using anything in it; sitting in the living room looking out at the view knowing that she will never physically sit in this seat and see what I can see; and going into her room and looking at a empty bed. It is just beyond belief how an empty bed is so much more than it appears to be, how an on switch can conjure up feelings of loss and despair, how a little kitty cat can look into your eyes and reflect back what you long for, and how a view out of a window can make you look back inwards on your life and see just how much it has changed. I feel so very sad. There are Leigh shaped holes everywhere. What I have had today is love from my family and friends, another wee cuddle from the kitty and a very funny reminder of Leigh putting washing up liquid in our old dishwasher.....then sending me a picture to my phone, with a kitchen FULL of bubbles, simply entitled oops. I miss her humour. I miss her laughter. I miss her smile. Leigh, I love you and I know you love me. This love is always there and can never change. I just need to learn that your physical absence does not change this love even though it feels like it. It may take a lifetime to learn but I need to keep trying. Love you always Teeny ❤️ xxxx
Posted on: Sun, 17 Aug 2014 20:11:36 +0000