Ive never been one to pray much as I usually do not know what to say or how to say it. Ive always thought that if God knows my heart already, why do I need to pray if he already knows what I am praying for silently inside. Yesterdays bible study challenged us to pray more and it never fails that when I start to build up my personal relationship with God, something always happens and I end up losing my footing. Today, was no different. I went and taught and afterwards I was told that my services may no longer be needed, but it all depends on the situation. So, on my way home, my initial thought was I want to go home, get hammered and smashed. I was disheartened which led to anger, then guilt, then the blame game . . . I blamed myself for things that I had no control over or knew anything about, then I blamed God. Why give me this opportunity and then nine months later snatch it out from under me. I wanted to yell, punch a wall, and cry at that point after I walked in the door. I sat on my bed and I messaged two people from church, my bible study leader and a good friend of mine. They both helped me put things into perspective and I greatly appreciate it. Pslalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. This was a test for me to learn how to keep on keeping on. Sadly, at first, I failed miserably but I was lifted out of that hole in no time. I was asked this question: Why is that we can be fine with God when we only receive? But when something is taken away we find it hard to thank him? A very good question to ask . . . and the answer I dont have. God gives and takes away, he gives us things for a season to help us grow and learn and then he takes it away to give us something better or to give us a greater lesson. For everything, there is a season, turn turn turn It is ok to be angry but do not remain in that anger, move out of it and take steps towards spiritual maturity; which is the hard part. However, it is only hard if you dont want to dominate your flesh with the word of God. There will always be storms, dark clouds over head, but it starts with changing your thinking for negative to positive to actually see the light behind those clouds that seem to be dark. Let go, Let God! Job lost it all but never blamed God, it brought him closer to God. And remember, God loves even though the circumstances feel unloving. youtube/watch?v=DqdOGWmcdCc
Posted on: Wed, 08 Oct 2014 07:24:24 +0000