Ive never truly experienced happiness. What a realization huh?! Dont get me wrong, Im super blessed! Ive never felt so much love n pride as I did those 5 priceless moments I gave birth to such amazing little people, n to know that God chose me to be a mom to an angel, totally earth moving, but yet somehow I simply float through life, merely as a caretaker trying to please everyone. I would never change my path, not even a step, because I would not be who I am today without all the experiences, all the mistakes, n all of the obstacles. I just hope this is truly my turning point. The point where I realize people can change, unfortunately only for the worse....the point I stop making excuses n stop trying to make others something they are not...the point I come to the realization that they have taught me to never trust, to never rely on anyone but myself...the point that my actions made out of compassion n kindness are not mistaken for forgiveness or an act of weakness...the point where I stop putting my own convictions and beliefs aside n finally grab ahold of my true self. A mama first n foremost...a miracle worker never...i cannot make someone something they are not, n I can not change someone simply because I care or I love, or am concerned. I must realize that I give everyone too much...no way too many chances, and way too many redos, but out of selfishness of the need to protect, coddle, n protect everyone. I need to learn to simply advise n let go. I have failed at all of this, n more so recently, but no more. Im holding to the faith that being true, real, n honest to one self will bring true happiness n through Gods word n faith, true happiness will be aquired!! Keeping the faith...a totally new beginning!!
Posted on: Mon, 24 Nov 2014 03:48:17 +0000
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