Ive realized that checking whats up with everyone via Facebook and instagram only makes me see how isolated I still am no matter how hard I try not to be. Every visit it seems is a guaranteed mood swing. Ive tried to still update my status regularly and post a few things via instagram and such, but with the exception of snapchat, I havent been using my social media nearly as much as I used to. It started when I was going through a serious depressive bout from January 28th until mid February. I began to simply post things impulsively everyday as an emotional outlet. I would vent and then not look at any responses or look at anything anyone else was doing. I became completely self-absorbed; Not because Im an asshole, but in order to find inner peace. It worked. The last 2-3 weeks have been so good that I didnt dare change anything, Even though I was no longer severely depressed, I continued to just hit and run with all of my social media and focus only on what made ME happy at that particular moment. Finally, an hour ago, I began scrolling through Facebook and instagram for the first time since January and I realized how strong of an influence the cyber worlds of Facebook and instagram have on my state of mind when I enable them to. There is something very particular about these small glimpses into other peoples lives that always feel so much more fulfilling than mine. I want to know whats current with everyones lives, but I dont like wishing I was somebody else. Im stuck in a pickle.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 07:05:35 +0000
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