I’LL NEVER FILL IN FOR CRAIG MACKAIL SMITH Saturday evening, Evening Star Had a lot of beer, didn’t have to go far Round to the Albert to see Sleaford Mods Two really sharp really sussed really shouty sods Up to the bar got another pint of beer Pissed off promoter: ‘Jason’s not here - Crashed out in London on a settee’ Crowd wanted Jason – they got me Filled in for Linton, filled in for Clarkie Filled in at Glasto while they hunted for a sparkie Filled in for Donny Osmond and that’s not a myth But I’ll never fill in for Craig Mackail Smith No I’ll never fill in for Craig Mackail Smith Swindon Town Hall didn’t go to plan I was the support act waiting for the man Just like the Velvets waiting for the man Waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting for the man Man didn’t show, to everyone’s regret Promoter asks ‘Wanna do another set?’ Crowd came for Linton, got more of me All’s well that ends well - I got his fee! Filled in for Linton, filled in for Clarkie Filled in at Glasto while they hunted for a sparkie Filled in for Donny Osmond and that’s not a myth But I’ll never fill in for Craig Mackail Smith No I’ll never fill in for Craig Mackail Smith These days it gives me enormous pleasure That the great Johnny Clarke is a national treasure But there was a time when things were iffy He could turn up, let’s say, a bit squiffy! One day he didn’t even turn up at all Hapless promoter gave me a call He’s not here, Attila, do you want to do a set? Jumped in a cab with a quick ‘You bet!’ Filled in for Linton, filled in for Clarkie Filled in at Glasto while they hunted for a sparkie Filled in for Donny Osmond and that’s not a myth But I’ll never fill in for Craig Mackail Smith No I’ll never fill in for Craig Mackail Smith Late 1980s Glastonbury Disaster in the Cabaret Marquee PA out of action – generator broke ‘I’ll do a set, I’m a really shouty bloke’ Thousand people, great big tent Meant what I said and I said what I meant Standing ovation for giving it a go Generator mended, on with the show! Filled in for Linton, filled in for Clarkie Filled in at Glasto while they hunted for a sparkie Filled in for Donny Osmond and that’s not a myth But I’ll never fill in for Craig Mackail Smith No I’ll never fill in for Craig Mackail Smith Donny Osmond was booked to play the Marquee He got ill so they asked me One day’s notice. ‘Come on Attila - Fill in for Donny it’ll be a real killer!’ Now it’s never been in my plans To do a gig for Donny Osmond fans A third or so were soon out the door But the rest really loved it – I got an encore Filled in for Linton, filled in for Clarkie Filled in at Glasto while they hunted for a sparkie Filled in for Donny Osmond and that’s not a myth But I’ll never fill in for Craig Mackail Smith No I’ll never fill in for Craig Mackail Smith I’m shit at football and not just a bit - Really really really really really really really shit Worse than a donkey, can’t control the ball Can’t head, can’t shoot, can’t pass, bugger all All my life I’ve thought it a shame I’m useless at my favorite game Try as I might I’ve two left feet Too old now so my fate’s complete Filled in for Linton, filled in for Clarkie Filled in at Glasto while they hunted for a sparkie Filled in for Donny Osmond and that’s not a myth But I’ll never fill in for Craig Mackail Smith No I’ll never fill in for Craig Mackail Smith Yes, I’ll tell you now without being guessy If I filled in for CMS things would get…. Messi.
Posted on: Mon, 28 Apr 2014 12:27:33 +0000
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