Just for the record, this is no "lite read". :) The Narrow Gate As we peel the layers and dig deeper into our psyche, we begin to unravel illusions, to find the same illusions uncloaked by the layers we have unconsciously piled upon them. Fear has long, deep roots. What is at the core of our fears? We have come far enough to see that at the basis of suffering, is fear (separation). And that the intrinsic nature of desire is Love (connection). What is it we want to obtain by working diligently at life? The life force is strong. We endure through trauma and pain, tragedy and strife. What drives the wheel? As Stephen Levine puts it, our wanting, that wants free of wanting. Last night I had a dream that symbolized for me, the greatest fear of all “The fear of all fears”. Through this simple metaphor, was an awareness of the “what if” that is at the hub. This came after an unraveling with my favorite Psychologist. While talking about the simple fears of life, I was able to get right to the core at last! I said “My fear is ‘what if’ Love is not enough?” And he said “Not enough for what?” Great question! Love and God are synonymous for me. In my dream, the metaphor pointed to the thought process, Love (God) is not enough and beauty (ego) is hollow. To simplify, it symbolized the question, “What is existence?” The greatest fear contrasting the greatest Love is the interpretation of existence, the age old, illusive, interpretation of the “I AM”. So at the root of fear is the question “What if I am not?” We spend our lives filling in the sentence “What if I AM NOT good enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough” and so on. These are trivial, though still hold the original sin. The separating thought of individuality (Nonexistence) from Love (God, Consciousness, whatever term is comfortable for you.). This explains all the layers of striving, approval seeking, competition, achievement, ecstasy, fulfillment, religion, politics, betrayal… and the infinite expressions of life. I have read and studied and pondered the I Am, though never had I Felt, The Question. Never has it been more at the surface of my vision. This is very exciting. It is consciousness arriving at the gateway of existence. In C.S. Lewis’ book “A Grief Observed”, this great Theologian is faced with the depths of the question of existence. He writes “God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn’t. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize it, was to knock it down.” Since the beginning of time Man has searched for meaning not only to this experience we call Life, but more so, to the passion that enables each new dawn. The energy of existence that moves us when our fight is gone, when we are on our backs on the ground and we look up to the sky to see within it, the vastness of what we have yet to explore in ourselves. To touch the elemental phase of the momentum in life itself; not the living but the energy that lives. Not the doings but the idea to do, that driving force in all life everywhere. All the minuscule metaphors of joy and suffering point to the PROCESS of looking to The Stillness of Presence, Nonresistance; That which has no opposite. C.S. Lewis goes on to say “Reality the iconoclast once more. Heaven will solve our problems, but not, I think, by showing us subtle reconciliations between all our apparently contradictory notions. The notions will all be knocked from under our feet. We shall see that, there never was any problem.” This is a space that the logical mind can scarcely recognize. For me, it had to be experienced, felt, assimilated, and subconsciously embraced. Words written on a page cannot describe the experience. As Eckhart Tolle says, “Don’t get caught up in the words. They are pointers.” Perhaps, instead allow the words to encourage opening to a deeper, greater, expanded awareness of life; a rich, vast experiencing of the driving force behind the metaphors of our doings. It is indeed the “Narrow Gate”, though each one who passes through it widens it for the next, until there is no gate at all. Just wide open territory. When we embrace the new day with an inquisitive nature, and absorb fully the momentum of Life, we reach nearer the inevitable. This place we rest in the essence of being. We can, if only for a moment, see no separation, only Love and know the still-ness of “I AM”. Peace, Compassion, Wisdom ~M~
Posted on: Fri, 13 Sep 2013 15:28:25 +0000