Just thought Id post something positive. Ive just been so happy lately, its weird to me. Throughout life I often pulled the shortest straw, Ive gone through a few major depressive episodes, and its weird to find myself in this current state. Im more comfortable in my skin than ever before, and anything Ive reached for Ive achieved. My doctorate is my last major staple to obtain. And its weird, because I never thought Id find this state of contentness here. This is the first year in a decade in a half that Ive started single, and thats totally awesome. When youre not surrounded by people that bring you down, you can only go up. Last year I got my Masters in social psychology with a 3.8 GPA. Ive given a presentation on my scientific work in many cities, culminating in a terrific experience in Vienna, Austria. Last year I formed a band with some friends, and we played live and people drowned me out singing my own lyrics back at me. Including a cover from one of my own solo albums. It felt amazing. Each album Ive released to date has outsold the last, and this year Im set to appear on four more. My friend humored my idea to put on a big death metal show, telling me that it wasnt as crazy as I thought it was conceptually, in Indiana of all places, and so I made it happen and it went splendidly. The weather even waited until the day after the show for winter to begin. After not painting for almost five years, I picked up some canvas last year, and now Im doing art and making good money off of it. Plus, I think the works Im doing now are the best Ive ever done. It feels good. All of my life feels like its in the right place, and thats weird to me. I decided to care more about myself, mind and body. Ive been working out as much as ever, and since I shaved off my skullet Ive felt good about whos looking back at me in the mirror (I kept it that long for functional purposes, not aesthetic). I try to brighten up the lives of others, and people have been good to me in return. Its strange. Last year, I was in a dark place, and people called me, people visited me, people made sure I was doing okay. Ill never forget that. Ill never stop giving back. I took six months to find myself. I know who I am now, I know whats important to me, and I know how to get where I want to be. I havent reached my destination, but now I enjoy the journey more than ever before, and thats invaluable to me. Every week I meet dozens of new people, and hear new stories, and experience new things, and I love that. Central Indiana has been great to me. There are great people and great memories to be made everywhere, if you push past the uncomfortability of something foreign. I try to find the humor in things when they go tragically awry, and this helps. To be upset about something so inconsequential, when so much else is still moving forward. You can turn your life around. There have been moments in my life when Ive been on the edge, but if you find out how to love yourself first, then nothing can take you down to that point again. How good life is, is largely perspective. I think itd help all of us to step back a moment and see everything weve got going for us. I have, and its drastically changed how I see myself and the world around me. Life is good. It isnt perfect, but I think now is the best time to be alive. The air is crisp if you take a moment for it. Im getting better at doing that. /end positive rant, is that a thing? https://youtube/watch?v=K4mbeVHtzwE
Posted on: Fri, 09 Jan 2015 04:57:12 +0000