Keith Greig 7 hours ago near Vancouver · Dear Friends, As a professional Pilot I have flown many thousands of hours both in the flight deck and the passenger cabin of aircraft. I am sitting in the back of an aircraft commuting home from work as I write this. I have compiled a few travel tips based on my experience and my pet peeves. Please consider the following in order to make your travel experience (and mine) safe and efficient. Keep your boarding card and ID handy at all times while traveling. If you get to the front of the security line and have to stop and rifle through your possessions, holding everyone up while you look for your documents you may feel a burning sensation as I glare impatiently at you from behind. Those moving walkways in the terminal are there to help speed up your transit time across the terminal. They are not for lazy people to get a ride. If you must stop, pull over to the side. If you dont, you may hear a loud bark as I approach from behind and prepare to accelerate through whatever small gap I can find. When you enter the aircraft please remove your backpacks and carry your bags in front of you or behind. If you hit me with your bag as you pass my seat you are definitely off my Christmas card list. When the flight attendants give you a safety briefing or address you personally, please give them your full attention. They are there primarily for your safety and will save your ass in an emergency if they need to. I guarantee that the people that ignore the briefings while they stare at their phones or books will be the ones that hold up others during an evacuation or a rapid deplanement. Dont be that moron that gets trampled. I have been flying for 33 years. There are many, many factors that influence whether or not an aircraft leaves on time. There are thousands of moving parts on the machine itself that need regular and sometimes un-scheduled maintenance. Quite frankly, having an intimate knowledge of what goes on behind the scenes to get an aircraft going, I am pleasantly surprised that any flight ever leaves on schedule. An airline is a marvelous organization with many people working towards the common goal of getting you and yours safely to your destination in as timely manner as possible. Please dont take out your impatience on any single employee. This makes for grumpy airline employees and Nobody wants that..... Relax. You are being transported in a narrow pressurized tube way up high in the atmosphere at 8/10 of the speed of sound where you can eat, drink and maybe watch a movie. Please be patient so that we can get it right. Every time. Leave your shoes on for takeoff and landing. If we have to reject the takeoff or sh!t happens during this critical phase, the rapid deceleration will carry your shoes rapidly to the front of the aircraft and you will need to deal with whatever happens next shoeless. Evacuating a burning aircraft, for instance, through twisted metal and broken glass in bare feet will definitely ruin your pedicure. Yes, the seats recline. If you are one of those that quickly and suddenly recline your seat, especially on a short flight, you were obviously not raised properly. The person behind you may have their knees against your seat back because there is nowhere else to put them. Sudden reclining can cause pain and discomfort and may spill their drink. If its a long flight and you must recline to sleep, please do so slowly and gently. This will improve your Karma. If you need extra time to board the aircraft because of kids etc the agents will happily board you first. When the aircraft arrives at destination you will obviously need extra time to get off so please dont get up first and act like a cork in the aisle. Many people behind you in the airplane will send bad energy your way. You dont need that. Stay seated until the aisle is clear and then gather up your babies, diaper bags, cases, purses etc and slowly herd your clan through the empty aisle. Travel safe and dont forget to marvel at the miracle of flight. KG After writing this on arrival in Vancouver a passenger wrenched his bag out of the overhead bin and hit me in the head. I smiled. Dont be that guy either
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 02:22:44 +0000
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