LAST NIGHT ON THE ULTIMATE STATE OF MIND - ALL IN YOUR MIND By Muyiwa Afolabi Many of us tonight may be victims of the future. Many of us are not very excited and happy about the future. We are held captive in fear about what the future probably holds or portends for us. Weve lived our lives thus far experiencing different things through our journeys, some experiences are good, some are bad and some are outright tragic. Weve rejoiced, celebrated, danced and partied, yet weve cried, hurt, mourned and experienced depression and heartaches. The reality is, weve come through all the seasons and were still here. Many times when bad things happen, when we hurt, when we go through very painful experiences, in the middle of it, it seem as though the pain wouldnt go away and the hurt would never end. We assume we would never recover and the hurt, pain and damage would leave us permanently damaged. If the experience is as bad as the sudden loss of a loved one to death, marital failure, relationship failure, infidelity, accident, sicknesses leading to permanent deformity and the likes, the victims at that point in time assume they would never be happy again. They conclude doom and gloom is their portion and experience for the rest of their lives. For those who are friends and associates or just hear the bad news, we can only but imagine what the people are going through; we could never picture ourselves going through that kind of experience. These negative experiences in life has consequently flooded our minds with so much insecurity and fear and intimidation, we hence begin to live our lives in perpetual fear of evil and disasters that may occur. Because our mind operates like a magnetic field that attracts and retains vivid pictures of what we hear and see, our hearts and nerves automatically respond in fear to just the thought of evil and not the reality of it. Our mind can also interpret situations and circumstances along the pattern of our fears and nemesis we panic always and become victims of the play of our minds. We fear, shiver and react to our minds most times and not our realities. Truth is, most of the time, that very thing youre afraid of isnt usually as bad as your mind paints it when it eventually happens. Ive met and counselled many people whom when in love felt they couldnt survive without their lover. They couldnt imagine their lives without the lover, Their lover would have become like oxygen to them. They cant handle any misunderstanding and quarrel with their lover. If the lover chooses not to speak to them for a day, that day is messed up, they wont be able to sleep or drink or sleep or do anything worthwhile, just because their lover is not happy with them. In their minds, they begin to believe, their life can never be the same without the lover. Suddenly one day, something happens, could be their fault or may not, but that lover calls it quits and the affair is over, the love goes sour and everything is over. They cant believe it, its as if their life is about to end. They cry, the mourn, they go through severe heartache for days or months some even years, its as if they wouldnt make it, some even fall ill and get admitted and treated in the hospital for depression or acute tension. Some speak to psychologist just to recover from that terrible experience. And with time, you would just realize, the terrible emotions and hurt that went down with the heartbreak is no longer there. You can smile again, laugh again, trust again and fall in love again. In fact you may even run into this ex-lover and not feel a thing. In fact you may even be angry at yourself wondering why you had to go through so much pain because of that person. The truth is your mind had stopped playing tricks on you about the lover and the affair, reality had set in and in your right and unbiased senses you realized the person wasnt worth the desperation, hurt and pain after all. You realize in fact youre happier without the person, you then begin to see clearly the faults and flaws in that person you never saw before when you were still a prisoner of your mind and imagination. Youre then glad the relationship ended. In that experience, your mind exaggerated things. Most times our reality is not as bad as how our minds paint things and presents what may never happen as such that could really happen to us. Most times your negative mind is your strongest opposition. Jaiye had worked for this beverage company for about seventeen years. Hes worked very hard and risen through the ranks. He was very committed and dedicated and he gave his all in all to the company. Year after year, hes scored very high on appraisal and had won several awards for hard work, dedication and loyalty to the company. Hes been rewarded several times for outstanding performance and excellence at work. He rose to the position of the general manager in his department and had two other contemporaries in the same department. There were three GMs. The Current Director had turned in his retirement letter and it was time to appoint a new director for the team, this was going to be done via a selection from amongst the three GMs in the department. Jaiye, though hardworking, committed and dedicated with a fantastic track record was very uncomfortable and nervous about this. His outgoing director preferred another GM as that other GM was from his part of the country and they had a very good relationship outside the office. Though Jaiye was far better than the other two, this situation worried him. The six months before the final exit of his director were his worst moments ever in career. He wouldnt sleep well or eat well. If hes not appointed a director how would he survive the humiliation and then what will be the decision on whoever is appointed in his stead? For six months Jaiye practically slept in the office; working overtime every day to ensure there were no issues and no flaws from his end that could be used against him. He worked from dawn to dusk; he sometimes slept over it the office. He became extra nice and generous to everyone. He helped everyone with their tasks and responsibilities. He paid attention to the work of his subordinates and perfection was the name of his game. At a point he became very ill as he was not eating well, sleeping well and was so stressed up. He was admitted in the hospital to treat high blood pressure but after two days, he left the hospital without being discharged and went to work. He was very afraid. If he should lose this appointment where would he go? Where would he end up? Who would employ him at his age? All hes ever done or known is what he does currently. Nothing else appeals to him or fascinates him. The directorship position for him became a do or die affair. After six months, the new director was announced in the presence of the whole company, the majority gave no two thoughts to it, they were sure it would be Jaiye, eventually when it was announce, it wasnt Jaiye, it was the other GM from the same part of the country as the outgoing Director. Jaiye almost passed out, his head wouldnt stop spinning. The whole hall went quiet; nobody clapped initially until they were prompted by the MD to do so. This was clearly day light robbery, it was clear for all to see. Jaiye had been robbed. It wasnt fair. Three months later, to avoid unnecessary tension in the team, Jaiye was advised by top management to resign his appointment with the organization, Jaiye was out. Jaiye struggled hard to forgive his former employers, he gave his all, he gave his best and this is what he gets after eighteen long years of dedication and hard work? He felt used and abused, he felt cheated and robbed. He couldnt forgive them; he was bitter and angry at life. He felt very, very bad. Jaiye became cranky and quick-tempered, everything and everyone upset him, his wife and kids no longer enjoyed a once upon a time caring and loving family man. Jaiye became aggressive and full of complaints; always nagging and cursing. Jaiye became a different person entirely, he couldnt handle his unfair exit well, for him, and he thought it was over. About three months later a new beverage company was opening office in Nigeria and they were in search of a seasoned individual in that field who could help build effectively their fledging business in Nigeria. Jaiye was approached and he took up the job as the GM, they didnt have a local director, Jaiye reported to a director covering the region based in the Netherlands. Jaiye worked very hard and grew the business in such an impressive manner. The owners of this company were so happy and impressed by his performance and result they decided to invest more in Nigeria. That year he delivered extra ordinary results again and this multinational decided to expand their investment in Nigeria. They then began to explore expansion opportunities and consequently, they bought over Jaiyes former company and guess what, Jaiye was appointed the Managing Director. Three years after he was sacked from the company he gave 18 years to, he became the MD of that same company. Dear friend, things are not always as bad as they seem. Because we lack the ability to see the future, we are always over reacting when thing go wrong or dont work out as planned. Dear friend, be strong in your adversity. Believe in yourself and believe in your tomorrow, no matter how things look, they are not really as bad as they first appear. Stop trusting your wild assumptions and imaginations. Maturity is always about self-control, staying calm, cool and collected in the face of adversity and severe pressure. Trust your future, dont be scared by it, be mature. Think it, do it, achieve it and be the ultimate man, its all in your mind! Till I come your way again, same time same station, this is Muyiwa Afolabi saying, Goodnight tonight.
Posted on: Wed, 26 Nov 2014 21:58:07 +0000
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