LETTING IT GO: part III: Damage of Perceptions. I left this one for last because this one is the most dangerous. For this case, it is best for people to seek understanding of perception, which will help with closure of the previous two points I discussed. Otherwise, things can get really nasty, very quickly. Damage of Perceptions is dangerous because it combines the previous two posts into ones self angle, were the severity, and the cause and effect is carried out by what a person sees and feels, and nothing else. Lets use the low severity issue mentioned in part II. Someone knocks food out of your hand. Now, that food is pretty common, but what if the food triggered a sensory in your mind as if this was the best food you have ever tasted, and you were in the moment, youre not going to get this moment again, and someone ruined it for you. To the person, its just food. To you, its ruined nirvana. Youre not seeking compensation. In your mind, youve set phasers to kill, and you end up doing something extreme. This happens more than you think it does. Youve heard of that news article where a man killed his boss because his boss took a picture of him, right? So, this type of thing does happen. But then sometimes, this triggers another sensory that a person didnt even know they had. :/ Lets take the high severity issue from part II. Your spouse cheated on you with your friend, and because of the severity, youre trying to figure out how to deal with it. To your friend, your spouse was just a lay. To you and your new trigger, what your friend did was a threat to your happiness. This new trigger sets you up where you bring your friend into the marriage, either willingly, or by force. o.O I mention this because while this hasnt happened to me, I know people it has happened to. I have a male friend who is married to his long time girlfriend, and he cheated on her with her best friend. So, not wanting the marriage to end, his wife took a twist, and brought her best friend into their relationship. Now, my friend has kids by both women, and he feels trapped. what started out as a fantasy for him, turned out to be a prison. Now his wife and his wifes best friend share him. Perception is very dangerous, and you MUST approach with caution because what might be simple to you, may be complex to others. If you can get a notion of that complexity, take it. Sometimes, it is NOT best to face the issue head on. Sometimes, you gotta do it from a distance. Its not that the person is crazy, they simply see things different than what you do. Try to come to a common ground, its very possible. But telling that person to Let it go, you may be adding more fuel to the fire than you realize. And most important, keep in mind that the damaging fire exists, and as we all know, fire does not put itself out. Keeping quiet, or keeping away completely, allows the issue to fester, or in this case, allows the fire to turn into an inferno. ...then sometimes, no one can control it anymore. :/ We all need closure in our lives and contrary to popular belief, time does not heal all wounds. We need Empathy to understand that we cant seek that closure alone. The least we can do for those we inflict or afflict, is to mend the damage, and go our separate ways. A million men can come to mend a woman, but unless it is the man that damaged her, she may never heal. vice versa with women healing men as well. Im sure weve all been there, so as reluctant as we may be, we all gotta go there...to the scene of the crime...and make things right. Its a humane thing to do. In fact, I bet for many of you, it would bring great relief if the person that inflicted you or afflicted you, healed you. Sometimes, the hate and the bitterness goes away with that as well. This is what we can do, with our humanely power. Not the sake of Letting it go, but rather, the blessing of Taking it away. And thats my three part discussion on the matter...and thats all I got to say about that. :)
Posted on: Fri, 21 Mar 2014 19:55:44 +0000
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