Landed back in NB early this morning and slept most of today away. Yupp I was being a bum :) Tomorrow marks one week since I finished my journey. Wow. So so many emotions and faces and memories that I will never forget. But also, some pain that I will never remember again. When someone told me before I stepped off that it would be a cathartic experience, and that it would be healing, I wasnt really sure I believed them. I had so much focus on helping others that I forgot that I myself was hurting. Tonight as I sit here, I am a completely different person than I was 51 days ago. I learned to heal and be healed through others. For the first time in my life, I placed full trust in others and allowed them in. From team members to people who were complete strangers. I exposed my life and my issues and pain for the world to see. I took heavy hits along the way from everyone from typical internet trolls to those I used to deem as friends. At times I felt like I was dying from the inside out, faced scrutiny of complete strangers but also gained power from the same. However I also gained the strength of those who believed in me. I gained renewal and resilience. Stories of survival, hope and strength not only got me through the first 45 but for the rest of my life. Tomorrow I will be going home to get my son and take him home. The next day, I open the next chapter in my life. For the first time, this chapter is the one that I control and write the ending that I deserve. Somehow through the last 6 weeks: I have learned how to break my own silence
Posted on: Fri, 25 Oct 2013 03:28:10 +0000
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