Last night Molly and I ran up to Kmart to get some school supplies. We homeschool and we always enjoy this event...new fun pens, folders, notebooks etc. We both just love fun school supplies! Molly is entering grade 11...standing in Kmart I had a very sobering thought...only one more year of back to school supplies! My hear sank!! Ive been doing this for 26 years straight...26 times of back to school shopping! The number of kids varied over the years as new babies came and others graduated...but still, 26 shopping trips!! Themes varied...Lisa Frank, sports, Ninja Turtles, Puppies and Kittens!! Molly is my last little bird in the nest...only one more trip left! No kiddish theme this year either...solid brights to match her room. There were many kids there last night...all clamoring to fill last minute crumpled lists...but something was really missing from the scene. Here we were...Molly and I, dancing around the giant pencils and scissor cut outs that signified the school supply area...we were laughing and showing each other Bieber folders...happily placing them back on the racks...having the best time! We were genuinely excited about finding bright colored pens that still wrote with black ink!! But we were the only ones!! Parents were irritated and bothered, kids of all ages, especially the older ones, were just ticked they had to be there! There was nooooo joy! Right there...right there instantly in KMart, I felt such a sense of fulfillment!! Over the 26 years of homeschooling I have often felt like a failure, felt sad that my children didnt realize the gift they had been given, felt deep heart pain...more painful than experienced by any other venture in my life!! I have felt defeat...loneliness, frustration, isolation, discrimination...many things that are not fun to feel!! But I kept trudging on...knowing this was what The Lord led me to do...and maybe all of it...every minute of the hard stuff was for this very night. Just standing there in K mart...with such a sense of joy and peace, that my 16 year old daughter is the sweetest thing since apple butter!! That she loves school supplies!! That she, most likely like her oldest Sister will choose to homeschool her children!! The Lord knew exactly what He was doing 26 years ago!! He knew exactly what our family needed...where we were all headed!! He knew what I needed...good and bad!! He grew me...He grew us!! As I handed my daughter the keys to drive us home...I had an overwhelming sense of bitter-sweet peace...and after all...maybe thats the very best kind...because it was worked for!!
Posted on: Tue, 05 Aug 2014 17:48:11 +0000
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