Letter to the Editor on August 17, 2014 in Letters to the Editor As I was drawing to the end a very dynamic and thought provoking Survivor of Suicide Support Group meeting, my cell phone was buzzing out of control. Another suicide loss survivor’s phone also started to ring and she announced Robin Williams had died from an apparent suicide. Needless to say our meeting went into overtime discussing the impact his death had upon us. Many people don’t realize there are twice as many people who die by suicide than homicide. More people die by suicide than in car accidents. Over 40,000 Americans die by suicide annually. A suicidal thought brought on by depression is a serious condition that requires medical attention. But we don’t talk about it. The sad reality is that severe mental illness continues to claim the lives of our brothers, fathers, sons, friends, daughters, wives, and husbands. When this is a loss that is close to us, we feel alone, ashamed, and embarrassed. We also feel that nobody wants to hear about our pain. When someone like Robin Williams dies who was loved and admired by many, it can bring up feelings of pain to suicide loss survivors. I can’t help to read the social media’s response to Robin’s death. A majority of responses were positive and thoughtful. I have read about people responding with their own struggles with thoughts of suicide. But it was also very easy for people to react with skepticism and negative, hurtful comments blaming Robin and his family. Someone who dies by suicide is not weak, selfish, taking the easy way out, or a coward. Suicidal depression is not a choice someone makes in their life. They are in so much emotional pain, commonly known as psych ache, by the suicide prevention specialists. They just want the pain to stop and they don’t know any other way. Yes, they are desperate and some are impulsive. Mental illness is not a weakness it is a disease. It is a very unwelcomed feeling of desperation. No one deserves to suffer from depression, be judged and ridiculed. Please don’t judge or make hurtful comments to suicide loss survivors. We struggle with our own demons feelings of guilt and asking why. Instead be the shoulder to lean on, the listening ear without judgment and condemnation. Let suicide loss survivors and those with suicidal thoughts know you are there for them. Support each other during this very difficult time of national grief. Let people know you love them and you are thinking about them. Most importantly let them know they are not alone. Robin’s death has taught me I need to become more vocally active in discussing suicide prevention after a suicide occurs. I need to do so in honoring my brother who died by suicide 19 and a half years ago. If his death and my experience as a suicide loss survivor can save one life – just one life – we will change our world. I would give up writing about suicide and the impact it has made in my life in a heartbeat just to have my brother beside me discussing life events. But I don’t get that choice. It was taken away from me when my brother thought he had no choice. Through the life of our loved ones their death speaks for better mental health treatment and need for our community to understand to be less judgmental and more comforting to those who struggle. Key points to remember when talking with suicide loss survivors: (1) Be respectful – just say you are sorry and leave it at that, (2) Talk directly about suicide with your loved ones, (3) Remember the person’s life without so much emphasis on how they died, (4) Avoid assumptions about the person who died, mental health history. There is not one reason why someone who is suicidal depressed dies by suicide. It is a multitude of reasons. And (5) Encourage people to get help – National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. Janet Schnell MSW, LSW Suicide Prevention/Intervention/Postvention Specialist President of Survivors of Suicide of Dubois County
Posted on: Tue, 19 Aug 2014 03:34:05 +0000
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