Lots of people want to know major reasons behind my improvement. There are lots of factors which i mentioned in my book today i will like to speak about most important thing that led to my gradual improvement . I would like to start with the disempowering or negative mindset 2 years back which held me back from major improvement A. Disempowering mindset Disempowering mindset is based on disempowering beliefs and perceptions as follows: 1) Disempowering beliefs As defined by John Harrison a belief is a statement which we hold true and do not question anymore. Most of the times we may not even be aware of our beliefs. Belief may or may not be true. If I believe I can, its true. If I believe I cannot, its also true. One source of beliefs is our past experience and how we interpret it that is good or bad. Second source is our teachers and parents or so called “Experts” in the field, whom we respect and whom we trust whose word we take as truth. That’s how we learn as a child building on beliefs. Some of them can be disempowering meaning they might not be true and are harmful and detrimental to our cause like speaking. Here were mind disempowering beliefs: a. Recovery and natural voice Stammering is a permanent disorder there is no cure no help no solution. No one knows its causes. May be the cause of stammering lies in some genes which is validated by the fact that my brother is also a stammerer . but he was lucky to overcome without any therapy. He doesnot know himself how. May be his genes were weak or something. I am the unlucky one. Why me ? Why I am a stammerer ? I will always stammer no matter what I do. As Anthony Robbins said in his book “Awaken the giant within” that you should always avoid “Learned helplessness which means your weakness is permenant , pervasive in your life and personal meaning its all your fault of your character or some genes . This learned helplessness is such a negative state of mind , it leads you towards despair and your life becomes miserable . So I am a victim of stammering and there is nothing I can do, its pervasive over my life and may be my genes are cause of that curse. b. Limited or narrow Self image Self Image means how you see yourself. Its like these huge beliefs about yourself. How you define yourself . like other beliefs you may or may not be aware about that. Myself image was that I am a “stutterer”. Meaning stuttering defines who I am . I have low confidence to speak If I could just defeat stammering. my life would change dramatically . I would do this and that. I could conquer the world only If I was not a stammerer. I am shy , introvert sort of person. I cannot talk due to stammering. Its such a shameful and ugly thing. I am guilty of this crime call stammering. what other think about me is derogatory may be they are justified. c. Speech produced by conscious mind Speech is produced by conscious or analytical part of the brain with no link to bigger subconscious mind that controls automatic function like heart beat. Therefore I should think every word that I have to say and how I will say it. Think before you say it. I have to rehearse exact words in my mind before saying anything. No spontaneity is possible in speech. Related to that was following belief : d. Judging myself while talking I must be conscious of my speech every word I say if I am stammering or not and if I am stammering what is the extent of that is it mild or severe? There should be constant feedback while I am talking related to that was following beleif e. Control of speech only cure If I become conscious of my speech and control it , I will control stuttering . More control of my speech means less stuttering and vice versa. There is something wrong with how I speak . there is something wrong with my breathing, I am short of breathing, my muscles get tense so if I could just relax and control the way I talk and rehearse words coming out of my mouth and slow down, this is the only way to recovery. Nothing else needed. f. Phobia to speak Speaking is a labourious work .it just makes me tired. When I speak I am out of breath my muscles are so tense. Its like I am fighting with myself as John Harrison says “ Intention or double bind” two forces in opposite direction. My fear of speaking and desire to express myself. I should remain silent as much as possible. I am phobic to speaking. g. Reasons for Blocks or Holding back I don’t know why I block. Its something there magical it comes and magically goes. Somehow control of speech is the only answer to blocks and one day they will go somehow or I have to live with them. h. Perfect fluency Obsession I must speak with perfect fluency. No mistakes. If I block at any word its so terrible all my hardwork of control is gone its end of the world. If your speech is not fluent , you must control it to be fluent. There must be something physical worong I am doing i. Covert stuttering Since its so awful to stammer so much difficult to speak. I should try to substitute the words that I believe are problematic. The words that are problematic I have complete list stored and I am always filtering myself for problem words. So any problem words just substitute with some safe word. Hiding is better than struggle and humiliation. j. Victimization I am a victim of stammering. I should blame it on my circumstances and live with it. I should avoid phone or confrontational situation or assertive or aggressive situation because they require fluent speech and I am a stammering person. If such situation arises I should find some avoidance technique out of it. 2) Negative perceptions about people and world Perceptions means how you interpret a certain situations or life event. These are the filters through which your mind process all the information received through all five senses and then attach meaning to it. Its like the lens camera through which an image is captured. If the filters and lens are not correct you are going to get a distorted image. These are like your personal opinions and generalizations. Following are the negative perceptions leading to negative mindset : a. What People might think When I speak people are judging me how I speak. What will they think if I stammer? That I am an inferior person who cannot do a simple task as simple as speaking? They might laugh at me or get irritated. And many unlimited things like that negative to my self image in my mind. b. Urgency obsession People cannot wait for me to complete my sentences am wasting their precious time. What a pity he is still listening to me. May be he is thinking why is he going to end the sentence? May be he has lost interest in my conversation. May be he is not even listening tom? Why donot I just say the words. I should just somehow force words out of my mouth and just get it over it. c. Picturing grotesque or gloomy future event & worrying about it What will happen in that next important meeting? If I stammer how terrible it will be people might laugh at me. I am actually picturing myself again and again having a big block and trying to force words out of my mouth. That event hasnot yet happened and I am perceiving the worse possible scenario in my mind and worrying about it. d. Negative past experiences creating speech phobia Past experiences like in school when I used to read and some made mimicary of me and whole class started to laugh and I cried so badly. I can remember the shame , gulit anger sadness prevailing through me. If I couldnot do it in past how can I do it in future
Posted on: Tue, 18 Nov 2014 07:48:31 +0000
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