Lying in bed Heartbroken after having a conversation with my son... Son: Mom, I spoke with my Dad Me: Thats good, how did that conversation go? Son: I asked him when could I come over, and he said he doesnt know because he works on the weekends Me: Smgdh (My son has been out of school for nearly two and half months and hasnt seen his father) Son: Where is my sister and brother when Daddy is at work? Me: Where youre supposed to be as well (As a Father, when you want to have a relationship with your children there are no excuses for why you cant, you find a way) My Heart is very heavy because some things I just dont understand. I was Fifteen years old when my son was conceived and his father was Twenty-one. My sons father at the time had a daughter from a previous relationship, and I was expecting. He swore the baby I was carrying couldnt possibly be his because he had gotten a vasectomy, but the results from the paternity test proved that was a lie. Even after learning that this was our son, at Fifteen I was left with the Responsibility of Raising our son on my own since my sons father now wife (which by the way I had no idea that he was engaged at the time) made him choose between marrying her or helping me to raise our son. Nonetheless, they are happily married with a son of their own who happens to be named after his father. My son doesnt have a relationship with his father, stepmother, siblings, nor his grandparents and they only live a couple of Exits up the highway! Yes, he pays child support faithfully, but doesnt have a relationship with my son. My son will be Thirteen soon, his father has never attended a birthday party, hes never spent a holiday with his father, and when he played sports his father never attended any of his little league football games. Both of his siblings lives with his father and his wife even though the daughter isnt his wifes biological daughter. Im angry because my son didnt ask to be here. As a Mother, Ive made poor choices in the Men Ive chose to date, the man I married, and some of the men I tried to hold on to. Its the Men that I let slip away that I regret losing... Men that are God Fearing, Great husbands, and Exceptional fathers to their children. Me, Ive decided to continue to be single until God changes my status not Me because Im lonely! Im raising my two children on my own, and if a Man cant come into our lives and be the example of the Man I expect to see my son become our the the caliber of Man I would one day want my daughter to marry, I have not an ounce of me to invest in You. Unlike some people, I dont need to be in a relationship, but it doesnt hurt to want to be in one. So, until God decides to bless me with that Man my time will be invested in my relationship with Him, my children, and myself. This time Gods time, not mine because my first divorce will be my last. So, without a Father in his life or any positive male influences, Im raising my son the best I can having faith that in any area I dont succeed, God will intervene and help him become the Man hes destined to be. ~confessions from my Heart
Posted on: Fri, 08 Aug 2014 16:05:33 +0000
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