MR. DOBBS STORE: A STRANGE AND TERRIBLE CAUTIONARY TALE By Little Mikey Sutherton Once upon a time, tucked away on a small flat space in western Oklahoma, there was a sleepy little village known as Speculum...in the village was a general store, run by a kindly old man named Mr. Dobbs...he had run the store all his life, as had his father before him, and his father before him...Mr. Dobbs couldnt bear to throw anything away, and so had a large inventory of things from the olden days, for which there was no use today, but the old man had a sort of melancholy fondness for them, for the memories they evoked of a slower, kinder age...one night in the fall, Mr. Dobbs passed away peacefully in his sleep, and the village was much saddened...Mr. Dobbs was a good man, theyd say...Mr. Dobbs was very kind, theyd say... The next day, a big shiny American sedan came speeding up to the store, and out stepped a large, heavily perspiring man in a colorful inexpensive suit of clothes named Black Jack Lester, Mr. Dobbs great-nephew and his only living relative...Mr. Lester was from the great sprawling metropolis of Lubbock, Texas, and had swift, big city ways...he stepped quickly, talked even more quickly with a barking tone, and smelled of diesel...he announced immediately and loudly that he was now the proprietor of Mr. Dobbs store, henceforth to be called Big Jacks Save A Buck, and that he was going to modernize it...he brought in a truckload of small brown men who chattered in a foreign tongue and wore large broken straw hats...as he was cleaning out the store, modernizing away, he found the trove of olden things...on one shelf he found a small quantity of quaint knickers, along with several of the old-time bulb klaxon bicycle horns known as honkies...the honkies and knickers had occupied the same shelf peacefully for decades, with nary an unkind word or even thought between them...when Mr. Lester put them in storage, just in case, he put the knickers on a shelf higher than the honkies...this displeased the honkies, who began to mutter that the knickers were becoming uppity...the knickers, on the other hand, felt that the honkies were on a better shelf, and began to talk of storagism...as the tension and hateful feelings grew to a boiling point, one night one of the honkies shouted, WORTHLESS KNICKER!...one of the knickers then screamed, STORAGIST HONKIE!...the mutters became screams for blood, with violence looming large and wicked...suddenly, everybody got run over by a truck... THE END
Posted on: Wed, 13 Nov 2013 21:21:20 +0000
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