MUSIC DEVOTIONAL 10/15/14 by Ellen Yedinak I Still Havent Found What Im Looking For performed by Jenny&Tyler with Sara Groves (original by U2) I have a confession. {deep breath from the preachers kid} Sometimes, in the deepest and darkest recesses of my thinking, I start to ask questions. Mainly, they are what ifs. What if my faith doesnt really mean anything? What if I cant understand everything God has allowed to happen? What if my life doesnt really matter? What if I never know for sure....? Madeleine LEngle called it the cloud of unknowing. My times of doubt are thankfully, not that frequent, and I try to avoid giving Satan that footing by spending time with God. But I can feel them coming now and then....my chest pinches and a heaviness comes. In those moments, I have learned to come back to what I know for sure...or, rather, who: Jesus. As the lyrics to this U2 song say, You broke the bonds and you loosed the chains, carried the cross of my shame, you know I believe it! This song may seem like a strange one for Christian artists to perform. However, in this song, U2 claims what I think a lot of we Christians are often afraid to: that as much as we may know for certain about our Jesus, we may not all feel like we find what we are looking for on this side of heaven. As though our questions, our honest searchings, our propensity to be consumed by emotions --might somehow undermine God. The Psalmists (mainly David) struggled over and over with questions and doubts, fears and failures. Did God strike him down for crying out? No. Job cried out to God over and over, wondering how he could be so afflicted when he had lived in righteousness. Did God strike him down for asking? No. Dear Moses had seen and heard God (literally) in the burning bush and still, in the days that followed, over and over told God that he couldnt do what God asked because no one would believe him, and because God must have it wrong. {...as he was actually getting to hear the audible voice of God....and HE doubted??} Did God just quit on his plan to deliver the Israelites? Did he strike Moses down for doubting the promises he had heard over and over again? No. Thomas, anyone? A man literally remembered as the doubter? Did Jesus send him packing --- no longer fit to be a disciple? No. How blessed we are that God gave us Biblical examples who were, in fact, real humans. Flesh and blood. Real, emotional, doubting, still-searching humans. And how did God typically respond to these people? REMEMBER WHO I AM. So I go back to Him when questions crowd my mind, back to His Word. And time spent in the Bible reminds me over and over of 2 truths that, even in my searching, I can hang my hat on: 1. Gods plans are not dependent on the size of my faith. Can He work mightily through big faith, absolutely! But He is sovereign and he will accomplish his work and his promises --- and still(!) chooses to use us to do it regardless of our doubts; if we only can come to a place of trust and obedience. Praise God! I dont have to worry that my searching and doubts might somehow knock Him off His throne. Instead, I can step out in obedience and ask Him to grow my faith and use it! (didnt He say something about a mustard seed...?) 2. Jesus loves me. When I surrendered my life to His leading, the gift and joy of that relationship made a change in my heart. Satan may try and dissuade me of the truth, and my mind may wander, but the truth of Jesus love -- the beautiful gift of His words and His sacrifice --- will always bring me back. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. (John 15:4) For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and it is not from yourselves, it is a gift of God! (Ephesians 2:8) So, have you still not found what youre looking for? This world is not our home, and we may never be satisfied by it. Will you invite Jesus to find you, instead? Thank you Jesus, for finding me. youtu.be/_gwZW5hB3os
Posted on: Wed, 15 Oct 2014 05:16:31 +0000